I realized that my posts lately have been entertainment-related and I haven't written any serious "advice" worthy posts in a long time. In-Between Life is meant to be a mix of everything that goes on in the head of a twenty-something and all the things we experience in life during this transitional period, with all of its ups and downs. Sometimes it's fun stuff, but sometimes it's on the darker side. That's why today I want to focus on something that many of us need to learn, or at the very least be reminded that you are your own person and no one should force you into doing something you are not comfortable with.
Learning to say no.
It's such a simple word, yet it holds so much power. If you ever say no, people should respect your wishes, no matter what the circumstances may be. You are an adult, you can make your own choices now, and no one should be making these choices for you. And yet, many times we find ourselves consistently saying no, over and over again, and people keep on pushing you to change your mind.
I was inspired to write this post after remembering an awful experience I had last summer. I will not go into heavy details over what happened, but let's just say it involved alcohol and peer pressure. I said no plenty of times. I knew what I wanted, and in no way was I looking to get "trashed" that night. But people push you to do things you don't want to, even if you're repeatedly shaking your head and saying "no, thank you." It's because of my nice nature and inability to displease people that I got myself into that mess. Thankfully, I was one of the lucky ones and the situation could have been much, much worse. I'm sure hundreds of college girls experience this, and sometimes it can easily be avoided if you just say "no."
Sometimes it's hard to say no, especially when someone is pressuring you into saying yes. That's where you need to learn to be assertive and not be afraid to do so. Respect yourself and what you want, don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise. Don't give in just to be nice. Don't give in just so people will stop bugging you. If people can't respect your decision, they don't deserve your respect, either. If you can walk away, do so. If you're stuck in the situation, try your best to cope with it, but never give in.
While this post is kind of leaning towards the whole saying no to the typical alcohol and drugs scenario in college, I really want people to learn to say no in all aspects of their life. We find ourselves getting into situations we really don't want to be in, or places we really didn't want to go to, or doing someone a favor that you just were not up for, simply because you didn't want to say no. But if it's something that your inner voice is literally screaming "NO!!!" then LISTEN TO IT!
Being assertive is not being a "bitch." Being assertive does not mean you're being mean or aggressive. It just means you know what you want, and you won't back down. It means you respect yourself. Learning to say no can truly be a very difficult thing to do, but by doing so, I promise it will benefit you in so, so many ways.
"ABOVE ALL,
BE THE
HEROINE OF
YOUR LIFE,
NOT THE
VICTIM."
-Nora Ephron
