Patience: The Hardest Lesson to Learn

I have never been a patient person. Whether it was dealing with mundane tasks like standing in line at the post office or sitting in rush hour traffic, to waiting for my diet to finally start giving me results or waiting for "time to pass" so my emotional wounds can heal, you could pretty much say I have had zero patience in life. But has that changed how fast things come to me? No. Has it delayed good things from happening? Probably. Has it frustrated the hell out of me? ABSOLUTELY!

I certainly don't think I'm alone in this kind of mentality, but in the past I've definitely thought that out of all my friends and peers, I've had to be the most patient of them all. It seemed the more patience was needed of me, the harder it was to get through anything. Having patience (and I mean truly having it—not just convincing yourself otherwise) has been something I've been "working on" for years now, but it's only until this summer or so that my lesson in patience has really kicked in. Let's just say that this summer has been one hell of a roller coaster ride, one that left me (and my life) hanging upside down for awhile.

Through all that's been happening in my life, however, I've found some kind of peace. If you told me a year ago that I would be the person I am now, I would have never believed it (because I was stubborn back then and thought my world was doomed 75% of the time). Part of this new found peace (and patience) I can contribute to growing older and maturing.

The other part? Finally accepting the things that I cannot change. Appreciating the good in my life. Believing that the best is yet to come. Excitement for the future rather than worry. Taking it one day at a time. Not putting so much pressure on myself. Allowing myself to have bad days, while realizing that they will pass and tomorrow is always a new start. The list goes on, but I think you get the gist.

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Post-grad life has not been easy, especially when it comes to patience. Although at this point is it even considered "post-grad" life, since I graduated over two years ago? I guess not! I'm starting to shift into a more comfortable, confident position in my life. The funny part is that not much has changed externally. I'm still searching for that "dream job" and have had several different positions since graduating. I'm still living at home, for the time being, until I can get a solid financial foundation going. I'm still single, although that part isn't necessarily a focus in my life right now anyway. My point is that what has truly changed is me. And that's what I was missing this whole time.

Sometimes we get stuck in the mindset that "if only ____ would happen, then my life would be better" or "if I had ____ in my life, surely everything would fall into place", etc, etc. I was a slave to this way of thinking for years. I definitely knew better, but it was very difficult for me to break this habit. I was so convinced that I needed my life to change externally in order for things to change internally.

Don't get me wrong, I still make mistakes. I still fall into this mindset (a lot more than I care to admit). But what's changed is that I've learned to be patient with myself and with my life. I know that when I start thinking this way, I either need to let myself ride it out or talk myself out of it because I know better (it all depends on my mood that day, haha!)

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I hope that you're able to take away something positive from this post. I know how difficult it is to be patient, not only with your life, but with yourself as well. Ironically, I'm writing this right now while in a terrible mood. Yet, I'm able to control it because I know it's only temporary. So next time you feel like you just can't take anymore: close your eyes, take a deep breath and remind yourself that everything will be okay. Be patient with yourself. 

P.S. You're Not Old

I had a conversation today with my oldest friend (and by oldest, I mean the friend who has been around the longest—since our angst-filled middle school years) and it sparked something in me, something that I think goes through the minds of everyone and seems to start a little after you graduate college and enter "the real world."

When you're 21/22, you feel like you're on top of the world. Hell, you think you're on top of the world even before that, but even more naively so. I've heard it said many times that your college years are the best years of your life. There was even a show called "The Best Years" that focused on a girl in college (anyone remember that on The N?!) I always got so angry when I heard that, though, because first of all, at the time, I thought my college years sucked. As I look back on them now, I yearn to go back way too often, wondering if they really were in fact the best years of my life and I took it for granted. Spoiler alert: they weren't. My best years are still to come. And maybe even my worst years (please no haha). Who knows!

It is so easy to get trapped in this mindset because once we graduate college, we are hurdled into what everyone loves to call "the real world" and with that comes a wave of responsibilities that coincide with all the fun and adventure being sucked out of your life. I'm only 24 years old and I'm already seeing fellow peers getting married, engaged, having babies, getting promotions at work, moving cross-country, etc. It's hard to take a look around your world and think that you're still young, because so many of us are doing such "adult" things.

Part of my conversation with my friend today involved a lot of reminiscing, especially since due to certain circumstances, we're both back in our home town. As we talked about the high school kids of today (and thought about our own high school experience) I got to saying, multiple times, "GOD we're so old." And at that point I'm pretty sure Kate wanted to smack me in the face, because in her eyes we're not old, we're still just babies. And she's right.

We're still in our twenties. We still have years to make more mistakes and learn from them. We still have years to experience new things, meet new people, live in new places. We still have time to figure out what exactly it is that we want to do. We have all the time in the world. Just because we're done with college and expected to do all these things (thank you, society, for all that pressure), doesn't mean we have to. And just because you're 24 and already married and having babies and living your dream life, that doesn't mean you're old either. You still have so much ahead of you, both good and bad. We all do.

I'm done thinking my friends and I have gotten "so old" especially because I know ten years from now I'll look back at this time period and think "What was I thinking! I'm so old NOW!" (Which by the way I won't because I very much plan to implement this new mentality ASAP). If I keep thinking the way I do, then I'm not going to enjoy life. I'm not going to enjoy my twenties and all the upheaval it brings. Because no, we can't drink like we're tanks anymore and we can't go on reckless adventures (or more so don't want to because we've become "responsible" and all that). But that doesn't mean we have to stop having fun. It doesn't mean we can't go on any adventures. It doesn't mean we have to become a corporate drone, and live just to work and get by.

There's no one answer that will satisfy everyone's question of how exactly you do any of the above. For some of you, it may mean you travel—see the world, meet new people, experience new things. For some of you it means picking up a new hobby and/or doing something you never in a million years thought you would do. For others it may simply mean starting your own family, because of course that's an adventure in itself. Some of you may find that simply hanging out with old friends can do the trick. Remembering old memories and making new ones. The answer/solution is different for everybody. The important part is that you get out there and DO something. Get out there and live. Don't get stuck in the past.

When I say that 24 is not old, I also mean that 34 isn't old—neither is 44, 54, etc. It's never too late to change your life. It's never too late to do something new. Sometimes we get too stuck in the past. It's okay to get nostalgic, but don't let it run your life. I say this as someone whose been this way for a very long time. I rarely enjoy the present because I'm stuck in the past (or worried about the future... can I get an amen? Ha.) But I'm trying really hard to change that about myself, and I hope you can, too.

[Kate and I years from now, obviously still complaining about stupid people]

It's Time to Stop Basing Your Life on What Others Think

Lately I've been making a lot of "unconventional" decisions in my life and the direction in which my life is headed. I'm straying away from what society believes is normal and what a college educated woman should be doing nowadays. I'm ultimately making decisions with my heart, rather than with my head. And, unfortunately, many people frown upon that. But am I going to let it stop me? Absolutely not.

Every one of us may encounter a situation like this at some point in our lives, whether it's a big decision or a small one. I can already tell you that not everyone will be on board with your decision and almost everyone will have some kind of opinion on the matter. Some will voice it, others will not. It may even be your own friends and family who are your toughest critics. They may drive you up the wall. They may make you second guess yourself. They may even talk you out of something that you really, truly believed was best for you. I'm here to tell you that you cannot let that happen.

Sure, there are many cases in which your loved ones are just looking out for you and want the best for you, but you know what? You're the one who at the end of the day knows what's best. You're the one who will be living with whatever decision you end up making. It's not a bad thing at all to ask for the opinion and help from other people, especially because I do think it's important to get some outside perspective. But when it gets to the point that you're basically getting your dreams shit on (excuse my language) then it's time to start saying screw what people think, this is my life.

We live in a world where everyone's life, every single little detail, is out there for all to see (and to compare with). Unfortunately this does more damage than good. We compare ourselves too much with other people and their lives, and a lot of the time that hinders our own progress or change. I've certainly talked about this issue on my blog before, but it's that important that I feel I need to keep reiterating it (for my readers just as much as for myself). We need to stop making decisions based on what other people think and we also need to stop comparing our lives with other people. You're only ever going to get to where you're truly happy once you block out the rest of the world. This is your life, your journey - live it your way.

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours. It is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins." 

-Bob Moawad

The End of an Era

Recently I have faced the end of an era, or at least what feels like the end of era to me. I'm not going to go into details because it is something very personal, but I do want to share what the experience has taught me, especially when it comes to life in general.

I always liked to imagine each individual life as a book. You fill your own book with chapters and each chapter represents different periods of your life, or maybe just certain events that were game changers. Some books are short. Some books are long. Some are boring. Some are full of adventure. Some are beautiful and heart breaking love stories. Some are filled with lessons. They all have a story to tell, though.

In my case, I imagine my life as a series of novels. Each book, even though it's filled with chapters highlighting different events and times in my life, must come to an end at some point. We are meant to move on. It doesn't mean that none of it ever happened, or that we didn't learn from it. Some stories we still have left open-ended and that is often times very exciting. Other stories...  well, we must come to terms with the fact that they have been completed. And if you're anything like me, it could be a very sad moment.

Have you ever read a book and once it was over you're filled with the strangest melancholy? Or maybe you read a series of novels (take Harry Potter, for instance) and once you're finished and you know that was the last book of the series you'll ever read, you wish you could experience it all over again. That's exactly how I've been feeling about this "end of an era" I recently faced.

However sad it may be, for reason simply being that you're filled with nostalgia of yesteryear, you eventually need to come to terms with the fact that the past is the past. I've never been good on leaving the past behind. Those who have meant so much to me, who have influenced my life at every turn—well, I have trouble letting go of that. It's always been plain and simple: I care too much. I don't necessarily view that as a bad thing. I am who I am and I like the fact that I am such a caring person (so if you ever hear me crying and cursing the universe for making me who I am, just ignore that, it usually passes).

These past twelve years (roughly) I have learned so, so, SO much. For whatever reason, I feel like I'm finally closing the door on my childhood. Up until now I saw myself as still being a girl (and really, I probably always will a little bit). However, as cheesy as it is to say, I feel that all of my experiences up until now have finally led me to become a women. I'm saying goodbye to my childhood (and I use this term to refer to teenage years, mostly) and because of that I've been feeling pretty nostalgic lately. I keep thinking back on so many memories and smiling (with some crying thrown in the mix as well, of course) but in my heart I know it's time to close that door and open a new one. I've been feeling really excited for my future and also more peaceful and worry-free of what's to come. I may still be that lost and confused post-grad millennial in some sense, but I'm no where how I used to be.

So, while this may be an end of an era, I think it's also the start of a new one. 

And that, friends, is beyond exciting.

5 Ways to Feel Better

Life seem boring lately? Feeling like you're in a rut? Depressed or sad? Itching for a change? Just being a lazy bum? Well friends, let me tell you, I've been all of those things in just one day. Thus, it's easy to say that I've become a bit of an expert on knowing certain things you can do to instantly feel better (even if it's only a little bit, just enough to get you to start crawling out of that hole). It's not to say that I do these things all the time, because to be honest, I rarely do them (ha). When I DO follow through with these actions, though, I always feel better. So get off your butt and start taking action!

[image source: weheartit]

1. Re-arrange your room. I like to re-arrange my room a couple times a year or so whenever I feel like I need a change. In a way, it's kind of like taking a change in scenery without having to actually move or travel or any of that other expensive stuff. Simply switching your furniture around can give you that fresh perspective you need. This also helps in forcing yourself to clean your room and getting rid of junk you forgot you had, which leads me to my next point...
2. Clean. Like I mean really, really deep clean. Waking up in a clean, tidy environment is THE way to start off your day. If any room in your house is a disaster, tackle it with ALL THE CLEANING SUPPLIES! Does it look like you live in your car? FIX THAT! I guarantee as soon as you're done, no matter how difficult and exhausting it may have been, you won't regret it. You'll feel refreshed. Being in an organized and clutter-free zone will also help de-clutter your mind a bit. Who couldn't use some of that?
3. Do something nice for a stranger. This can be done anonymously if you want. You can pay for someone's coffee, put in more coins in their parking meter, write a bunch of positive letters and mail them out to random addresses, leave a small care package for your mail person, etc. The list is endless! Doing something that has the potential of making someone's day (and restoring their faith in humanity) is one of the best feelings out there. 
4. Make a long-term plan. If you're anything like me, you need to know what's on the agenda for the rest of your life (stressful, much?) Of course we have no idea where we'll be a year from now, let alone tomorrow. Life throws curveballs all the time and I'm convinced it's the universe's favorite game to play. Regardless, thinking about your long-term plan, goals and dreams can be so helpful. It may help ease your anxiety about the future, it may help set you on the right path or it can simply help you narrow down your ideas for your future. It doesn't have to be a long-term plan. In fact, I suggest you start off small, because like I said before - life throws us curveballs. Try writing out a 6 month plan that can involve a multitude of things, such as your career plans, health goals, living situation, improving your life, etc. 
5. Take a deep breath. Okay, this may seem so simple and cliche that it's just too good to be true, but it really can make a difference. Just close your eyes and take a deep breath (or 5 or 10) and just focus on your breaths. Then go through each of the problems you are facing and realize that everything has a solution, one way or another. Things have a way of working themselves out. Nothing is ever presented to us that we are not strong enough to overcome.

BONUS TIPS!

These are some things I personally do to pep myself up, so may or may not work for you. Everyone is different and you just need to find what works best for you!

• Listen to music. I try to make a good playlist while I'm in a cheerful mood, so that way I always have it ready to go. Sometimes listening and singing along to your favorite songs is a great way to get out of your head for awhile.
• Go outside. I really love nature. I love being in the woods, I love the way the wind blows in the trees, I love laying out when the sun is shining. The key here is to go somewhere that is peaceful enough and noise-free, so that all you really hear are the sounds of wildlife and nature itself (not cars buzzing around and people chit-chatting!)
• Road trip alone. By "road trip" I mean short rides somewhere. If I'm not stuck in traffic, I genuinely enjoy driving long distances. One time I drove an hour to the beach by myself and was only there for a couple hours before I drove back home. It was very therapeutic though and it's a great time to just let yourself be alone with your thoughts.

What are some things you do to make yourself feel better?



Inspiration Monday: Focus on Yourself

It's been such a long time since I've written an Inspiration Monday post! As I was writing the draft for my first post on The Indie Chicks, part of my post got me thinking about something truly important I've learned in recent years (and am still learning). That lesson? Focusing on yourself and avoiding the temptation to compare yourself to others.

This is something I feel every single one of us has faced since a very young age, dating back to your Kindergarten days when you wanted the same big box of crayons the little girl next to you had, or when you were in high school and every day was filled with comparing yourself to your peers. As we age, we tend to step away from these bad habits, but sometimes they never really go away.

Since graduating college, I feel like I've been hit by a new wave of comparing my life to those around me. After graduating, everyone I knew branched off and headed in different directions. When we were still in school, we all seemed to be on the same path or dealing with similar situations. Afterwards, I couldn't help but notice that everyone was doing something that I wanted to do but wasn't able to or hadn't gotten around to yet. It was incredibly frustrating and disheartening.

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Fast forward a year and a half and I've finally begun to accept the path that I'm on as my own and have actually become quite proud of myself, especially how far I've come. Of course, it wasn't easy. It never was. I know there will still come times when I take a look at someone else's life and wish mine resembled theirs. It's only natural to feel this way from time to time, but we cannot make a habit out of it.

As I've matured, I've learned that one of the most important things you can do in life is to focus on yourself, and just that. Don't look at where others are in life or what they have and you don't. That kind of comparison is negative and will only bring you harm. You need to focus on who you are as an individual and accept that your life will be completely different than anyone else's and that that is 100% okay.

As a twenty-something, this is something that's even more difficult to do because everyone you know will start making big changes in their life and not everyone will meet certain milestones at the same time. But that's okay. Everyone marches to the beat of their own drum. We can't all have the same life, the same goals, the same dreams. Just like you may want something that someone else has, someone may want something that you have but they don't. It's the circle of life!

So remember: focus on yourself and what you can do to bring yourself happiness.

Things I Learned in 2014

As the year comes to a close, a lot of us are probably writing about either 1. what we've learned in 2014 and our experiences this past year and/or 2. the goals we have set for 2015 and what we hope to change. Personally, I won't be setting any concrete "goals" for 2015 because I know how much can change and how difficult it is to keep anything in a rigid mindset for too long. I have a lot of fluid ideas of how I want my year to go, but I also know that I'm going to do my best to just go with the flow. The one goal I always have is to make the new year even better than the last and ensure that I am growing as a person and becoming who I want to be. As long as I keep that in mind throughout the year, everything else should work itself out. I don't really want to talk about the new year because I want to keep the mystery alive. I have a lot of exciting changes coming my way, many of which I have struggled with and worked really hard to get to this point in life. No doubt there will be ups and downs this year, because that's just how life works, but with each year I take a new set of experiences and lessons that hopefully better prepare myself for whatever life has to throw at me.

2014 has probably been one of the most difficult years of my life simply because of how transitional it was. It was my first "full year" as a post-grad (a very lost and confused one at that) and I had a lot of different experiences. Experiences that were not pleasant but eventually led to lessons learned and a process of maturing. The beginning of 2014 found me once again lost as to which direction I wanted my career to go in (I stopped substitute teaching and decided to put my pursuit of a master's degree on hold). It was also around that time that I started this blog, which was at first meant to be a creative outlet and a way to pursue my life-long dream of becoming an author, but it turned into so much more (more on that later). To keep myself busy and also still make money, I took on a nanny job. Some people may think a nanny job is "easy" or not really significant, but those are people who have never had to be responsible for children or actually take care of them. For the six months I had that job, I didn't even really see it as a "job." I formed a connection with the kids I took care of and they taught me so much about raising children and just life in general. Also, I think my biological clock started ticking thanks to that job, oops...

Fast forward to Spring of 2014, which was probably the high point of my year. I was happy with the job I had, really getting into the whole blogging and social media thing and I was also exploring a side of me that I never had before. Without going into too much detail, I'll just say that although it ended pretty badly, I don't regret it at all. I learned so much about myself, especially how I handle certain situations and relationships, which in the past few months I've been able to start changing to help myself in the long run. It's pretty cliche to say that "everything happens for a reason" but I'd like to think this certain experience falls into that boat. After a lackluster and slightly mopey summer, I was restless again. I needed change and I knew I couldn't stay where I was, figuratively and literally, for much longer.

By the end of September I had left my job as a nanny and was in pursuit of a new job. By this point I had a very good idea of what I wanted my career to be. Blogging helped me discover that. I have a passion for writing and social media (something that is certainly expanding in this technological age) so I started searching for a job in that related field. I spent months applying to places. Months searching. Sometimes I'd even apply for regular administrative positions just so I could have something, even if it wasn't truly what I wanted to be doing. I lost track of how many interviews I went on this fall (I want to say 7?) and obviously all were a dead-end. Unemployment was not kind to me and as much I tried to stay positive, after each rejection I sunk a little bit deeper. I was at the point where I was about to give up this dream career of mine, something I had been interested in for a very long time. I didn't want to settle for the typical entry-level position as a receptionist or whatever else I "qualified" for, but I was beginning to think I had no other option. Then something truly amazing that totally exceeded my expectations happened. But I won't go into it just yet—that is for a different day, different blog post :).

Other things happened these past few months, too, things that have helped me take a look at my mindset and attitudes throughout these past years. I am by no means done learning or changing, but I can happily say I am on the right track. I also think that having this blog has helped me a lot along the way and I want to continue In-Between Life no matter how busy my life may get. Who knows, maybe I'll keep this baby of mine for years to come and I can look back and see just how much things change.

I started out writing this post thinking I would just write a brief summary and then do a kind of list of what I learned this year, but of course the writer in me had to basically write a novel for everybody. If you've read this far, thank you. Thank you to all my readers. Thank you to everyone I have inspired; you've given me sparks of happiness when I most needed it.

Without further ado, a list of some of the things I learned in 2014:

• Don't give up on your dream, no matter how tough the road may get. Seriously. Do not give up.
• Don't stay in something that is no longer fulfilling. You'll know when it's time to move on and you shouldn't hold on any longer.
• You are the only one who knows what's right for you. You're the only one who can truly dictate your journey. Listen to yourself and your intuition first and foremost. 
• Not only can life surprise you, but you may end up surprising yourself, too. Embrace it.
• It's okay to feel lost and confused and worried. It may seem like it, but the feeling won't last forever. You also may experience it again at some point in your life. That's just how it is. 
• Only substitute teach if you have the patience of a saint.
• Let go of your past and the fears your past has created for you. You're only hurting yourself and not allowing yourself to live your life to the fullest. 
• Learn to go with the flow. Life tends to get easier that way.

What's the most important thing you learned this year?

What to do when you want to smash a plate into a million pieces

Let me start off by saying I am by no means perfect. I may spit and spatter a bunch of inspirational posts and motivational words on here, trying to get you to see the best in yourself and all the wonderful opportunities life has to offer, but that doesn't mean I get sunk deep into a hole of awful emotions, too. Lately that's been happening to me more often than I'd like. A lot of it has to do with still being unemployed. After months of endless job applications and only a handful of interviews, I'm still stuck. I go from freaking out about what I even want to be doing to freaking out about being able to do SOMETHING, anything, that will make me feel more productive and also not stressing out about financial issues. I hate to say it, but in my case, a lot of my problems would be solved with money. At this point, I might even take a job offer as opposed to winning the lottery (see? I'm clearly losing my mind).

Moments like these in life, especially after lots of time and effort, tend to be incredibly frustrating. Frustration leads to anger. I'm actually surprised at how well I've held it together (anger-wise) during this harrowing time of my life. Years ago, mostly as a teenager, I was a rage machine. The smallest thing could set me off and I'd be grumpy and moody for an unreasonable amount of time. As I've aged I like to think I've matured a lot and have gotten a better handle at my emotions and my reactions. But still, there are times when it's just too much. I'm sure you've been there. I'm sure we've all been there. It's only natural; we're humans. And other humans sure can piss you off.

I started writing this because I just had one of those moments. Pent up anger and frustration, primarily towards a specific person in my life, finally led to explosion. I yelled my feelings at them and stormed off into the kitchen holding my mug of coffee and for a split second I almost threw that mug at the wall. No bueno. Of course I realized that would do no good for anyone and quickly went back to my room to breathe and gather my thoughts.

As we grow older and get more life experience, we start to realize that not everything can be fixed. You can't control how other people act or what they say. You can try talking to them (rationally and calmly) but that doesn't always guarantee a change will happen. You can try to change yourself, but you also have to ask yourself if it's really you who is the one who needs to change or just how much you can possibly change to better the situation. The one thing I have learned, though, and one of the only things that really ever works for your own benefit, is the way you react to these events and people who make you feel this way. All you really have control of is yourself. Your words, your actions, your reactions, your expressions, your attitude, etc. It's not always easy, but it's something worth working on because it will help you out throughout life many, many times.

So when something, or someone, frustrates you to the point where you want to go ahead and smash all the plates, take a moment to breathe and just think. Give yourself even just ten seconds to calm down. You have the power to control it. You can walk away. You can figure out a way to make changes, probably at a later time. Or you can even just do something else to take your mind completely off whatever it is that is making you feel that way.

Also, keep in mind: Nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. It's how we handle those mistakes that truly define us.

Is Social Media Killing Our Sense of Self?

I still remember the days when MySpace was at it's all time glory and girls were always trying to spruce up their AIM profiles and make "cute" away messages. When people posted pictures on worldisround or Yahoo Pics. When almost everyone had their own blog- as in their own Xanga or LiveJournal. I like to think this is when it all started. When the internet started booming and nearly everyone had a computer in their home (more often then not just one, so it had to be shared amongst everyone, AKA fights that could very well start WWIII). This is when people started really putting their lives on the internet. They got personal and shared everything and anyone could come along and read your story and look at what you had done that weekend. People didn't just want others to glimpse into their own personal lives, but they wanted other people looking at their lives, too. It always seemed like a contest. Who had the cooler life. Who had the prettier friends and stylish clothes. Who was going out and having the most fun.

In a way this is to be expected of most pre-teens and teens, but it seems the rise of the internet and these social networking sites made all of this that more intense and life-consuming. If you weren't the one "cyber-stalking" people then you were the one obsessed with making your internet image look it's very best. Or maybe in some cases you were both.

The world changed, the internet changed, we grew up—but this tendency to examine the lives of others and wish we had what they had continued. Kids these days are still going through the same thing my generation did, just with different social media platforms (Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, etc.) It's only natural to be a little envious sometimes. It's only natural to wonder what it'd be like to be in someone else's shoes for awhile. Our instincts are usually to reach out for more, never quite satisfied with what we have. Social media allows us to live vicariously through others. But is this more of a problem than a solution?

As a blogger, I'm putting myself out there for everyone to see. But I don't really think my life is worth envying in that sense. Who knows, though. Maybe there are people out there who look at my blog and my social media accounts and feel the same way I do towards other bloggers. I follow a lot of blogs and more often then not, especially now that my life has taken on a boring twist, I envy their lives. I envy their jobs, their apartments/homes, their family/friends, their life in general. I envy it because I want more, I've always wanted more, and I'm never satisfied with what I do have. And I hate that, I really do. I have so much to be grateful for and that I AM grateful for, but I still always find myself feeling like Jay Gatsby, reaching out towards the green light.

I wish I was more content with my own life and didn't have to sit behind a computer screen scrolling through different blogs and social media accounts to "live vicariously through others." As much as I love social media, sometimes I feel that it's really a curse on all of us. It's a constant reminder of what we don't have and what we want, of where we want to be but aren't, etc. You can be perfectly happy with your life, but even then there's a chance that you get a little bit envious of others, too. I've also read somewhere that kids these days tend to just repost images they see on Tumblr instead of actually going out and living their lives. We're all just hiding behind the internet.

I did not set out to write this post to spread a pessimistic message. Rather, I want people to be more aware of what social media does to us, because it's not always so obvious. It's so easy to allow your self-esteem to be lowered because of what you see on the internet. It's easy to lose yourself in another person's life because it remains completely anonymous. And that's a problem. Yes, it's great to have other people be an inspiration to you and it's good to have something you're reaching towards. What's not good, however, is to allow yourself to get completely lost in all of this and forget who you truly are. I want people to remember that each person is unique and everyone has something special to offer. Just because your life is not as "glamorous" or "adventurous" as someone else's doesn't make it any less worthy. I have to remind myself this plenty of times.

Be you, because no body does it better. Be proud of every single breath you take, every single step you take. Don't get so caught up in other people's lives that you forget to live your own life to the fullest.

Learning from the tough times

I'm writing a post for the Northeast Bloggers Network about being thankful and grateful this month and making sure you don't skip over the meaning of Thanksgiving with all the hoopla that's going around about Christmas being "right around the corner." Both holidays have the same ideologies, but we tend to skip over what the true meaning of Thanksgiving really is because FOOD, FOOD, FOOD! Trust me, I don't blame any of you for doing that. In my post I talk about how it's important to try and take this month as a time to really think about what you're most grateful for and appreciate the little things, along with the big things. Slow down for a minute and forget about Christmas for just a couple weeks. Instead, focus on giving thanks, on being thankful, on reaching out to others, etc.

In the post I made a short list of ways to be grateful or start your path towards being grateful, and one of them actually spoke out to me the most. I didn't realize it while writing it, but I think this is something that can benefit nearly everyone, especially as this year starts coming to a close. It's common to make a list of what you were thankful and grateful for this year. A list of happy moments, moments of clarity, simple things in life that brought you joy, etc. But what we don't see on those lists? Bad moments. Heart wrenching moments. Moments that leave you a messy pile of tears on the floor as you curl up into a ball and wonder "WHY. WHY ME." Of course we don't list those moments. We rather forget about them. Put them in the past and pretend they never happen, only to creep their way into daily life eventually.

So that's when I thought, instead of listing the greatest moments of your year and why you are thankful for them- why not list the toughest moments of this year and why you are thankful for them. Yes. You heard me. Why you are thankful that life brought you such horrible events filled with pain and suffering.

Hear me out. Even in the darkest of hours, there is always a sliver of light, an ounce of hope. It's something that will no doubt be extremely hard to do, but there is something positive to be found in any of your hardest moments. A lesson learned, a realization of some sort, friends and families you know you can count on, the ability to feel something so deeply that when it's gone it leaves you feeling empty, the list goes on. The hard part will be figuring out what good came from what happened, but once you do it may help you better understand things. It might help you realize that everything happens for a reason, no matter how shitty that reason may be. I think working on this kind of list will really shed some light for you. It will open your eyes and it will help you see life in a new perspective.

Inspiration Monday: When you don't know what to do

Life often presents us with a platter full of options when you least expect it. If you're lucky, you're given something that you are 100% sure about, something that is your absolute dream. So naturally, there's no need to ponder and make a pros and cons list because you already know what your choice will be. The majority of the time, though, life doesn't work that way. We are given options that have both pros and cons and we ultimately have to make a decision, hoping we make the right one. I feel that during your early post-grad years, this is something that happens quite often. They also tend to be scary decisions. Decisions that can affect which direction your life takes off in, decisions that will determine your future. You can either end up extremely satisfied with your decision or completely miserable (and sometimes somewhere in between the two). So what do you do when it's your turn to decide?

If you're anything like me, you'll pretty much ask each of your friends for their opinion/advice. You'll even ask your parents. You'll go around asking just about everyone, because the more insight, the better, right? Maybe. When it comes down to it, you're the only one who can make this decision. You are the only one who truly knows what's best for you. You can ask for all the advice in the world, but chances are deep down, you already know what you're leaning towards. Sometimes it's exactly what people are telling you you should do. Sometimes it's what people are telling you NOT to do. Or in my case, it's somewhere in between. I think one of the reasons we like to ask for advice is so we can hear someone else validate your decision. Sure, there are times when you genuinely don't know what to do so you appreciate an outsider's point of view. Most of the time, though, you already know what you want to do.

But wait. You may know deep down what you want, but on the surface you're freaking out. You don't want to make the wrong decision. For whatever reason, something is stopping you from going in one direction as opposed to the other. That's when the confusing and frustrating part kicks in. Your future is staring you right in the face. Right now my future is staring me right in the face and growling. I'll admit, I'm a little bit terrified.

This time period in life is notorious for making big-time decisions, paving your life path, figuring yourself out, finding out who you truly are, etc. So, naturally, we feel super pressured! We want to make sure we get everything right. We want to succeed. We want to be happy. If only it was easier said than done.

So when you don't know what to do, when you don't know which direction to take, which decision to make, which option on the platter of life to take—don't freak out. Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. Maybe you'll end up making the wrong decision, but it's a decision you made, no one else. Do you know how lucky you are to even get to do that? Life will inevitably hand you a truck load of decisions and you will have to make some tough ones. Some you'll get right, some you won't. But that's what it's all about. Learning as you go. Figuring out who you are. What you want. And you know what else? You're 100% allowed to change your mind as many times as you want. There is no right or wrong answer here. It's your life and ultimately it's up to you what you do with it.

On making mistakes (constantly)

Lately I've found myself moving backwards. This is kind of how my life has always been. I make a mistake or I learn something (the hard way) but because of it I vow to make some sort of change, whether it's in my way of thinking or just life in general. I do this repeatedly. I always think that this is it, this is the last time, I will not repeat the same mistake. But you know what? 90% of the time I end up right where I started. For every step forward, I take two steps back. Or maybe it's really for every two steps forward, I take one step back? I rather think of it that way, because I know along the way of my many, many mistakes, I'm still learning, progressing and generally trying to make myself a better person.

This past month or so, the whole "unemployed & desperately looking for my dream job" thing has taken a toll on me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't struggling. Having a job, even if it was just a "nanny" job, kept my life in perspective and kept me more or less sane. I had a responsibility, one that I took very, very seriously, and somehow that also kept my head on my shoulders. I don't think I really realized the full extent of that until it was gone. I found myself kind of back to where I was immediately post-graduation, during one of the more difficult periods of my life, and although I do feel I have changed tremendously and matured, I had the sense that I had taken a giant leap backwards in life.

That's when I started repeating past mistakes. When I started to find myself on the edge of a cliff and extremely scared of what would happen if I let myself fall off. I want to have control of my life, I want to follow my dreams and pursue my passions, but fear has gotten in the way so many times. I felt that because I didn't have my "shit together" so to speak, I was a failure. Thus, it's okay for a failure to repeat past mistakes and pretend as if she's never learned her lesson, the hard way, multiple times.

The mistakes I made? I'm not going to go into detail about them. Those who are close to me probably already know and they know that it's been a struggle for me for awhile. Maybe if they've also paid close attention to my life, they are mistakes I make when things are rough. I like to share my personal life on here because I hope that I'm able to connect with other people and reach out to those who are struggling as well. While I would love to pour my heart out about all of this, there's only so much I can say, and even saying all of this is very personal to me. But there is a point in this story. A big one.

It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to keep making the same mistakes. It's okay to feel awful about it and it's even okay to not really care. You may have friends or family who will try to talk sense into you or you may even find yourself trying to talk sense into you, only to head back down that nasty road once again. Whether it's mistakes you're making with your relationships, with your family, with your friends, with your health, with your personal life, etc., it won't matter what other people say or do to try and make you change until you finally realize that you need to change.

One classic example I can think of that perfectly exemplifies this situation is when you have a friend who keeps making the same mistakes in his/her love life, no matter how many times you tell them to stop. I have had a couple friends who kept making the same mistakes, or more so hung on to the same mistake, for a very long time. You can give people all the advice in the world, but they won't change until they themselves realize everything. They'll probably even come to this realization more than once and just when you think "FINALLY!" they are back at it again. Don't give up on them, though. Don't give up on yourself. You keep making that same mistake? Someday you finally won't.

It's different for everyone, but we all have that "aha" moment or that real reason for wanting to make a change, but when you do that's freakin' awesome. You have reached your tipping point. You'll finally realize: it's time to change. It's time to stop repeating those mistakes.

I reached my tipping point recently. I don't know what makes this time different than any of the others (although I'm kind of starting to get a sense of it), all I know is I want to put an end to these mistakes that leave me feeling so crappy. We all make mistakes, all kinds of mistakes. Sometimes we make certain mistakes more than once. Sometimes we learn from them, sometimes we don't. What's important is that you realize you can change. It may take a lot of guts and a lot of courage and strength on your part, but it's possible, I promise.

Next time you find yourself making a mistake (even if it's something silly like making a typo on an important email) don't beat yourself up about it. It's okay to feel bad and it's okay to kind of freak out, but at most give it a day. Then after that period of "mourning", get back on your feet and try again.

How To: Get Yourself Out of a Slump

Since I've recently found myself in one of these very nasty "slumps" as I like to call them, I've had to become extra proactive in my attempt to basically slap myself back to reality. These are a few of the things that I did to get myself out of that slump (and am still continuing to do because it also helps you avoid getting back into that slump!) Hopefully some of these tips and tricks will help you, too!

photo credit: ~Liliana via photopin cc

1. Clean & Organize. This may be the last thing you want to do (believe me, I know) but most of the time it’s the very first thing you need to do in order to get out of that nasty rut you’re in. Cleaning your room/house and organizing things helps not only declutter the space you’re in, but also your head. Creating a clean and essentially “new” environment for yourself to be in is one of the first step’s in feeling better.
2. Read. Get out of your head for awhile. Reading a good book helps me escape my own world and enter the world the author has created. I love getting myself lost in a good book. I love it even more when I finish reading a book and it stays with me, leaves me pondering. A good book can be life changing. It can change your perspective. It can spark new ideas. A good book can make the impossible possible. 
3. Talk. Even if it means talking to yourself (if that feels weird, just write it out). Sometimes talking about what’s worrying you or what the problem is really does help, even in the slightest bit. Not having those thoughts rattling around in your brain can really be a huge weight off your shoulders. 
4. Do something silly. Okay you may think this is completely ridiculous, but seriously, do it! Belt out your favorite song (it can be a Taylor Swift song, it’s okay, I won’t tell) or do a little dance that you would never in your life do in public. I guarantee you will smile. If only because you feel like a total fool. But that’s okay. A smile goes a very long way. (Pro tip: If you’re out in public and can’t necessarily do “something silly” just imagine yourself doing the most ridiculous thing possible. I used to imagine myself dancing like a lunatic when I was on the bus and I’d catch myself smiling. It works!)
5. Make a to-do list. It can be the most mundane tasks. List anything you want. Make them simple things. Stuff you can easily do. Just being able to cross things off your to-do list will make you feel better and more proactive. It’s a step in the right direction.
6. Binge-watch a show on Netflix. Okay, this is a no-brainer. It may not be the most ideal thing to do if you’ve already been lounging around in your bed for days. But sometimes we do need those moments of just doing absolutely nothing but mindless television watching. It’s a great way to distract yourself, if that’s what you truly need right now. Just don’t let yourself become so involved in that Netflix marathon that you become a lazy bum and you’re back to square one.
7. Create an inspiration board. This is good because it not only requires you to search for inspirational quotes and pictures online (I recommend Pinterest, of course) but it also means you have to get crafty and put those hands to good use. If you have a printer you can print out the pictures/quotes/etc and then all you need are scissors, glue and paper (or a poster board!) Don’t have a printer? Perfect excuse to get out of the house. Staples has a printing center and it’s fairly cheap. Or you can use your local library. Once you have your inspiration board all set, put it up somewhere you’ll see it every single day.
8. Set weekly goals. Sometimes when we find ourselves in these so called “slumps” it’s a little difficult to set long term goals. They seem so impossible and far off. That’s why you need to start small. Give yourself weekly goals that you know you can really accomplish. It not only gives you something to do, but it gives you something to look forward to. It also puts you back in control of your own life. (Pro tip: don’t feel bad when you don’t accomplish these goals. They’re not meant to set you back further or make you feel worse about yourself. Just keep trying.)
9. Try something new. This can be pretty much related to anything. Are you into cooking? Try a new recipe. Are you a fitness junkie? Try a new form of exercise. Do you like gardening? Plant something new. Is there a hobby you've always wanted to get into but never have before? DO IT!!! I recently signed myself up for guitar lessons (pro tip: put the credit card far away from your computer after you've had a few beers) and at first I was all mopey about it (long story, but mostly because I was feeling lazy and in that nasty slump) but I went through with it anyway and it rocked! I may just be the new Taylor Swift. Watch out world. What I'm trying to get at, however, is that trying something new can sometimes give you back that spark or interest in life that is so often missing when you find yourself in a slump, so it's definitely worth a try.
10. Volunteer. This can go hand in hand with the "try something new" method, but volunteering not only gives you something to do but you'll also be helping someone/something for the greater good and that is sure to boost your spirits. There are so many options for volunteering. You can sign up for something that requires time commitment so you also have something to keep looking forward to (I recommend Girls on the Run!) You can sign up for somewhere where you set your own schedule for when you come in if you have a busy schedule (example: many animal shelters let you pick the days and times you come in to help out). You can even volunteer for just one day, just to test the waters. I can honestly say that anytime I have volunteered, whether it was for Girls on the Run (best. experience. ever!) or for a hospital gift shop, I have gotten something good out of it.

What's your favorite thing to do when you're in a slump?

What has worked for you in the past? What hasn't?

Inspiration Monday: Keep on keepin' on

I woke up this morning (okay, more like afternoon because I stayed up all night catching up on the Vampire Diaries...perks of unemployment?) and for a SPLIT second I pitied myself. Then, I snapped the f* out of it and told myself I had plenty of things to do and to get to it. Just because I don't have a "job" doesn't mean I'm rendered useless and incapable of actually being productive today. It's so easy to find yourself void of motivation during times like these, but I can't stress enough how important it is for you (and your sanity) to keep yourself going. Keep believing, keep hoping, just keep doing something. Don't let yourself fall trap to the blues and negativity. Yes, it is extremely difficult under certain circumstances and it gets harder as time goes on and all seems to be a lost cause, but no matter—keep on keepin' on.

Before I start doing any of the millions of things on my to-do list today, I scrolled through my Pinterest inspiration board (comes in handy quite a lot) and I wanted to share some of my favorites with you, in hopes that it inspires you as well.

Pursuing my dream job

Many of you bloggers may be familiar with the "Blogtober" challenge with the goal of blogging every day in October. At first I thought I'd give it a go, but honestly I've been the laziest bum ever these past couple of days. I've let sucky times get the best of me and resorted to laying in bed sleeping and/or Netflixing (can that become a word?) all day (and night...) I haven't been very productive. Being jobless sucks. You'd think having all this free time would mean I FINALLY catch up on all these projects I've started and such, but my motivation is seriously lacking. I actually had to slap myself in the face today to snap out of this mopey mess I've become. I absolutely dread getting sucked back into that hole of post-grad misery I faced about a year ago, so I am absolutely not going to let myself get to that point. I have been applying to jobs, but jobs that actually interest me/are relevant to what I want to be doing with my life are lacking, so who knows where the road may take me...

Anyway, I'm getting off topic. The point is, I was scrolling through my blog newsfeed and I noticed that today's Blogtober challenge is to write about your dream job, which is funny because that's exactly what I've been thinking about for awhile now. I know I always say I don't know what I want to be doing with my life or what direction I want to go in, but deep down I actually do know what my dream job is. I know exactly what I want to do. The problem is that I'm too scared to pursue it. I'm too scared to lack financial security. I'm too scared of failing at something that actually means the world to me. I'm too scared to actually get started and pursue that dream job.

The funny thing is I've known what my "dream job" is since I was a kid. I just never really acknowledged it until recent years. It's not an easy job and it's not something that many people are successful at. It's a job that if I do pursue, I want to be the very best at, and it scares me to think that I won't be. How will I ever know if I don't try, though?

Okay, ready? My dream job is... to be an author. Surprise, surprise. A blogger whose dream job is to be an author (absolutely no shock factor there, sorry for the suspense). The thing is, it's not something I really tell people. Or at least haven't gotten to telling people until very recently. I feel that especially in today's world, it's not really a viable career option—to be an "author". I don't want to be just a "writer", I want to actually be an author—someone who writes books and books that people actually enjoy. I'm always so critical of books that get turned into movies, but you know what? That would rock my world. If that ever happened I think it would possibly be the high point of my life. This isn't really something I've told to anyone, and here I am putting it on my blog for the whole entire world to read. I guess in a way it's like giving myself a kick in the butt. Now that I've told all of you, I actually have to follow through with it.

And that's exactly what I plan to do. I am jobless right now. So even though I will be applying for jobs, I'm going to take the free time I have now to not only work on this blog that I have come to love so much, but also finally get started on all that book business. I have tried before, but it was a pretty weak attempt. I know that even if I do get a job, I will continue to pursue my "dream job" so to speak. I guess that would mean I have two jobs. Writing may be a hobby of mine right now, but if I were able to actually make a career out of it... well that would be a huge thing to cross off my bucket list (I think meeting Leonardo DiCaprio would be number one on that list, no shame).

We all have dream jobs. We all have ambitions and goals that we'd like to some day reach, but sometimes fear gets in the way. Sometimes life gets in the way. Don't let it! Don't let anything stop you from pursuing your dream job. It's never too late. Seriously. Life is too short to just live day to day life. Even if your dream job is way off the charts and literally impossible to pursue, make a list of other things you want to accomplish. Things you know that you absolutely can accomplish if you just set your mind to it. A bucket list, basically. Make one today if you don't already have one. Check on it regularly. Pursue that list.

And as my favorite actor playing my favorite character from my favorite movie says...

Millennial Talk: Your job does not define you.

Something I've struggled to learn in my past year as a post-grad, and only recently have begun to realize, is that your job, or what you do for a living, does not define you. In some cases: sure, it does. There are people out there who get paid for doing their hobby. There are people out there with careers they are completely passionate about and it revolves around who they are as a person. But the majority of us end up doing something completely irrelevant to what our "hobbies" and interests may be. 

Our generation in particular is prone to having quarter life crisis' because we find ourselves at jobs that we aren't crazy about, doing things we have no passion for. We were brought up with these ideals: pursue what you love, study what you enjoy, don't worry about the rest because it will all fall into place. But now, we're faced with an economic disaster, bombarded by loans and nowhere to turn. Almost everyone I talk to at this age truly hasn't got a clue what they're doing, or what they'll end up doing. Many post-grads find themselves working for the first job that comes their way once they graduate and a lot end up miserable. The reasons for this vary completely based on each individual, but it seems a lot of us are on the same boat. We simply don't know where to turn to anymore.

One of the reasons we are faced with such a dilemma is because we live in a workaholic society. People here make their job their life. Some have no option. Others just slowly enter this never ending dreadful cycle and then don't see a way out. Your job should not, and does not, define who you are as a person. Don't let that happen. You may be at a job that bores you or you see no real interest or future in, but that doesn't mean you should let it make you dread waking up every morning. It's true that we live in a society in which we spend much of our day at work, and sometimes feel there is little time for anything else, but don't let yourself fall into that mindset. There is certainly enough time in the day, in the week, to work your job and still have time to do what you love and work on your hobbies. Don't have a hobby? Find one. Find what you have a passion for and work on that. Who knows, maybe in the long run you'll be able to turn that into a form of income. But even if you don't, it doesn't matter. You are not your job. What makes you you is what you have passion for, what you believe in, what you do in your free time.

While I believe that life is too short to settle for anything less than extraordinary, sometimes we need to be realistic and find a balance. Since graduating college, I've found myself questioning my future a lot. As I'm sure many other post-grads do. One of my biggest fears is not figuring out what I want my career to be and essentially not living up to my true potential because of all these obstacles that get in the way. It's really scary when you're staring at your entire future and all the potential and possibilities, with about a gazillion paths to take and you are utterly confused. I still feel this way, almost all the time, but what has started to make me feel somewhat more at ease is the realization that whatever my job ends up being, doesn't really matter. It's just a job. It's not who I am. 

Inspiration Monday: Be Strong

I can't even recollect how many times I have heard the words "be strong" or some variation of that. Not just said to me, but to people around me or people saying it to someone else. "You have to be strong." "You can get through this, just be strong." "Be strong, you got this." Of course, they are wise words and in this hectic, chaotic mess of a life sometimes the only thing you can do is be strong. The thing is - so much easier said than done. Being "strong" is not easy, nor is it something that can easily be defined. Everyone has their own definition or perception of what "being strong" is all about.

I was scrolling through Pinterest the other day, where I like finding inspirational quotes (along with about a million other "pin-worthy" stuff), and I found this list of "18 things mentally strong people do."  I didn't really agree with all of them, but these are some that stood out to me:

• They move on. They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
• They embrace change. 
• They are kind, fair, and unafraid to speak up.
• They invest their energy on the present. They don't dwell on the past.
• They are willing to fail. They don't give up after failing. 
• They accept their feelings without being controlled by them.

I can go on and on about what makes a person strong, but what I may consider strong, you may not. Some people view being strong as being void of emotions and feelings, of not letting yourself get caught up in any of that messy stuff. Others simply view being strong as getting up day after day, despite how hard your life may be. You know what? What's most important is that you view yourself as strong. Figure out what your definition of "strong" is and then strive to be that, every chance you get. It's not easy, but if it were, I don't think we would see it as such a virtue. 

Don't base your "strength" off others. Everyone is facing their own battles, everyone faces life differently. You alone are the one who determines how strong you can be, how strong you are willing to become. You have the power to "be strong." Don't ever let anyone define what your own strength is. 

Have an awesome week.

xo, Val

Inspiration Monday: Take a step back and reflect

This is the last Monday before Labor Day, which in my eyes at least, basically means summer is coming to an end. Fall is right around the corner, which excites me because it is one of my favorite seasons, but that means summer is over and that's always a sad thing. Every summer holds so many possibilities and adventures. If you're anything like me, you start off your summer extremely excited for what this one holds for you... what awaits you. What might change and what might not. Sometimes you start off with a huge list of expectations, only to find yourself at the end of the summer totally bummed out. But then there are some summers that are so great that they will live in your memory forever and ever. What kind of summer did you have this year?

Since we're reaching the end of something and the beginning of something new, it's a good time to take a step back and reflect. Truthfully, this is something you should do often, not just when one season ends and another begins. Sometimes we just need to take a step back from all the chaos, especially the chaos that goes on in your mind, and truly reflect on your life. Everything that's happened thus far, what has changed for you and what has not, where you'd like to be, etc.

As only natural for me, I've been doing a lot of reflecting the past few days, since my summer is coming to an end. It did not in the least bit go the way I thought it would when it had first started, but that's okay. I've come to accept the way things have played out for me. I learned a lot about myself this summer (or rather, realized that I had already known all along). Looking back at where I was a year ago—a totally lost post-grad freaking out about what to do with my life and my career—I think I've come a long way. Although I think we will always feel a little bit "lost" so to say, I certainly don't feel as lost, confused and scared anymore.

I now have a clear idea of what I want my career path to be, it's just a matter of working really hard to get an opportunity. And time. Time is always a bitch. But, that's how it goes. In other parts of my life, I'm feeling more level headed as well. I haven't felt "myself" in a very, very long time, but I am starting to finally feel more like the "real Val." I'm sure there will be setbacks and more ups and downs, but I'm ready for them. Maybe the events of this summer, this entire year, were necessary in order for me to do a complete roundabout and realize these things. Who knows.

So for this Inspiration Monday, I'd like you to take a step back and reflect. You can reflect on your summer, or your past year, or your entire life! Clear your mind and really think about things. Take your time to analyze. Look at everything with a new perspective. Sometimes, that's all we really need.

Life Lessons: Never put your eggs all in one basket

It's a saying we've all heard before, but how many of you actually go by this rule? I know I have the tendency to put all my eggs in one basket... only to have said basket break/fray away/explode and there go all my eggs. The funny thing about this expression is that in can apply to so many areas in your life.

By definition "never put your eggs all in one basket" is a proverb that "warns against pinning all your hopes on one course of action." When you hear this it's usually being applied to some kind of investment or anything pertaining to money. But it's a valuable lesson for all parts of your life and the sooner learned, the better.

The first time I received this type of advice was when I was 13 years old. It came from my cousins who are older than me, around 16 and 17 at the time. They didn't say those exact words, but the same lesson applied. I was falling head over heels for a guy (for the first time really, so I was super naive) and they probably saw how silly I was being, especially since they were older and had more experience in the dating world. The advice came after I told them that no, I wasn't interested in that "super cute" boy at the water park because I was already "involved" with someone else (which I only later found out that no, we were not "exclusive"). They told me I should never just have one boy around and that it's okay to "play the field" so to speak. Of course, this was said in a joking manner, but it held a lot of truth to it. They were right. Oh my goodness, how right they were. It's a lesson that I'm still learning as I go through life. Unfortunately, I'm an old fashioned soul, who likes to stick to just one person. Someone who basically likes to put "all my eggs into one basket" when it comes to dating. It's simply because when I know I like someone enough, that's that. I naively expect the same in return. But life doesn't always work that way. That's a whole other story though (which I go into further detail in my online dating post). 

Okay, so now you get the point that this saying can certainly apply to the dating world. But the real reason I thought of writing this post was because I related to the saying in terms of work and jobs. As a post-grad, you'll probably be applying to jobs left and right. Maybe you just graduated and are looking for that dream job, maybe you're already working and in search of another job, maybe you graduated a long ass time ago and still searching for a job, period. You start applying to jobs and sometimes you get lucky and hear back from places right away. Other times (cough cough) you apply for weeks.. months... and still hear nothing. It's discouraging and frustrating. So, of course, when you hear back from one job and it could potentially be your dream job, you're practically about to burst with excitement. Good for you, because you should be excited! But, wait.

I'm in a similar position right now, and for a short while I started "putting my eggs all in one basket" once again. I day dreamed about my possible future with this company, what the future had in store for me, what it would be like, blah blah blah. Of course having that "can do" attitude doesn't hurt and it's good for you to really believe that you're going to get the job, but I know from experience that you shouldn't expect anything. So even if you get the interview, even if you move along to the next step of the process, even if it all seems so promising and exciting, don't stop applying to jobs. Keep applying. Keep working for your future. Just in case one basket falls apart, you still have other ones being filled in.

Don't do this.

Have you ever put your eggs all in one basket, only to have it go terribly wrong?

What do you think of this saying/lesson? Do you agree or disagree?