Things I Learned in 2014

As the year comes to a close, a lot of us are probably writing about either 1. what we've learned in 2014 and our experiences this past year and/or 2. the goals we have set for 2015 and what we hope to change. Personally, I won't be setting any concrete "goals" for 2015 because I know how much can change and how difficult it is to keep anything in a rigid mindset for too long. I have a lot of fluid ideas of how I want my year to go, but I also know that I'm going to do my best to just go with the flow. The one goal I always have is to make the new year even better than the last and ensure that I am growing as a person and becoming who I want to be. As long as I keep that in mind throughout the year, everything else should work itself out. I don't really want to talk about the new year because I want to keep the mystery alive. I have a lot of exciting changes coming my way, many of which I have struggled with and worked really hard to get to this point in life. No doubt there will be ups and downs this year, because that's just how life works, but with each year I take a new set of experiences and lessons that hopefully better prepare myself for whatever life has to throw at me.

2014 has probably been one of the most difficult years of my life simply because of how transitional it was. It was my first "full year" as a post-grad (a very lost and confused one at that) and I had a lot of different experiences. Experiences that were not pleasant but eventually led to lessons learned and a process of maturing. The beginning of 2014 found me once again lost as to which direction I wanted my career to go in (I stopped substitute teaching and decided to put my pursuit of a master's degree on hold). It was also around that time that I started this blog, which was at first meant to be a creative outlet and a way to pursue my life-long dream of becoming an author, but it turned into so much more (more on that later). To keep myself busy and also still make money, I took on a nanny job. Some people may think a nanny job is "easy" or not really significant, but those are people who have never had to be responsible for children or actually take care of them. For the six months I had that job, I didn't even really see it as a "job." I formed a connection with the kids I took care of and they taught me so much about raising children and just life in general. Also, I think my biological clock started ticking thanks to that job, oops...

Fast forward to Spring of 2014, which was probably the high point of my year. I was happy with the job I had, really getting into the whole blogging and social media thing and I was also exploring a side of me that I never had before. Without going into too much detail, I'll just say that although it ended pretty badly, I don't regret it at all. I learned so much about myself, especially how I handle certain situations and relationships, which in the past few months I've been able to start changing to help myself in the long run. It's pretty cliche to say that "everything happens for a reason" but I'd like to think this certain experience falls into that boat. After a lackluster and slightly mopey summer, I was restless again. I needed change and I knew I couldn't stay where I was, figuratively and literally, for much longer.

By the end of September I had left my job as a nanny and was in pursuit of a new job. By this point I had a very good idea of what I wanted my career to be. Blogging helped me discover that. I have a passion for writing and social media (something that is certainly expanding in this technological age) so I started searching for a job in that related field. I spent months applying to places. Months searching. Sometimes I'd even apply for regular administrative positions just so I could have something, even if it wasn't truly what I wanted to be doing. I lost track of how many interviews I went on this fall (I want to say 7?) and obviously all were a dead-end. Unemployment was not kind to me and as much I tried to stay positive, after each rejection I sunk a little bit deeper. I was at the point where I was about to give up this dream career of mine, something I had been interested in for a very long time. I didn't want to settle for the typical entry-level position as a receptionist or whatever else I "qualified" for, but I was beginning to think I had no other option. Then something truly amazing that totally exceeded my expectations happened. But I won't go into it just yet—that is for a different day, different blog post :).

Other things happened these past few months, too, things that have helped me take a look at my mindset and attitudes throughout these past years. I am by no means done learning or changing, but I can happily say I am on the right track. I also think that having this blog has helped me a lot along the way and I want to continue In-Between Life no matter how busy my life may get. Who knows, maybe I'll keep this baby of mine for years to come and I can look back and see just how much things change.

I started out writing this post thinking I would just write a brief summary and then do a kind of list of what I learned this year, but of course the writer in me had to basically write a novel for everybody. If you've read this far, thank you. Thank you to all my readers. Thank you to everyone I have inspired; you've given me sparks of happiness when I most needed it.

Without further ado, a list of some of the things I learned in 2014:

• Don't give up on your dream, no matter how tough the road may get. Seriously. Do not give up.
• Don't stay in something that is no longer fulfilling. You'll know when it's time to move on and you shouldn't hold on any longer.
• You are the only one who knows what's right for you. You're the only one who can truly dictate your journey. Listen to yourself and your intuition first and foremost. 
• Not only can life surprise you, but you may end up surprising yourself, too. Embrace it.
• It's okay to feel lost and confused and worried. It may seem like it, but the feeling won't last forever. You also may experience it again at some point in your life. That's just how it is. 
• Only substitute teach if you have the patience of a saint.
• Let go of your past and the fears your past has created for you. You're only hurting yourself and not allowing yourself to live your life to the fullest. 
• Learn to go with the flow. Life tends to get easier that way.

What's the most important thing you learned this year?

Inspiration Monday: Keep on keepin' on

I woke up this morning (okay, more like afternoon because I stayed up all night catching up on the Vampire Diaries...perks of unemployment?) and for a SPLIT second I pitied myself. Then, I snapped the f* out of it and told myself I had plenty of things to do and to get to it. Just because I don't have a "job" doesn't mean I'm rendered useless and incapable of actually being productive today. It's so easy to find yourself void of motivation during times like these, but I can't stress enough how important it is for you (and your sanity) to keep yourself going. Keep believing, keep hoping, just keep doing something. Don't let yourself fall trap to the blues and negativity. Yes, it is extremely difficult under certain circumstances and it gets harder as time goes on and all seems to be a lost cause, but no matter—keep on keepin' on.

Before I start doing any of the millions of things on my to-do list today, I scrolled through my Pinterest inspiration board (comes in handy quite a lot) and I wanted to share some of my favorites with you, in hopes that it inspires you as well.

You only need one person to support your decisions: Yourself.

Sometimes people aren't going to support the decisions you make. They will disagree with you, they will criticize you. Especially if it's something outlandish. Sometimes these people are your own friends or family. Believe me, I know how much that can hurt. We look to these people for support and the last thing we need is them disagreeing, wholeheartedly, with the choices you are making. Especially if it's something so important and life-altering for you.

But you know what? If you find yourself in a situation such as this, such as the one I am in right now—to put it nicely, f*** them. As great as it'd be to have people backing you up, happy for your own happiness, no matter how you may find it, in the real world that doesn't always happen. As you grow older you will notice many people disagree with you. When I was younger I tried my best to please others, please the crowd, go with the status-quo, simply because it was easier. Not because it made me any happier. Now that I'm growing up and becoming more comfortable with who I am and who I want to be, it's getting easier to not let it get to me when someone doesn't agree with my life choices. Because at the end of the day—it's my life. It's your life. Do what makes you happy. No matter what that may be.

That's the message I want to send out today. While they are lyrics from a song (Pumpin Blood by NONONO) those words hold so much truth. You can create your own happiness and you have the ability to control your own happiness, too.

Since graduating college, I am beginning to find myself more and more each day. I look back to where I was a year ago and I can't even believe how far I've come, in so many aspects of my life. You always hear about people "finding themselves" in college, but sometimes that all begins to truly happen once you're done with school, once you've finally started the rest of your life.

So do yourself a favor and be your own support system. Of course there will be friends and family who are there to support you, but sometimes in life you will find yourself standing alone. That is when you need to learn that you are enough. Be brave, and fight for your own happiness.

Living at Home Again Post-College

A study done about two years ago revealed that 36% of all millennials (age 18-31) were still living at home. From the 18-24 age group, 56% were still living at home. The highest it's been in four decades. It is becoming increasingly popular to move back in with your folks after you graduate, or even after a couple years of living on your own and realizing you're up to your ass in debt. Society has mixed views on the matter, but it's becoming more acceptable and even expected at times.

Moving out doesn't necessarily have to be the marker of you entering adulthood. Sure, you become an adult once you start becoming independent (which can be done in various ways), but being an adult should also mean being responsible, goal-oriented and mature enough to handle just about any situation that comes your way.

What I'm getting at is that just because you don't live on your own yet, doesn't mean you don't have these qualities. This is a complicated and controversial topic in today's world, with many people claiming those of us who live at home are just "lazy" or too dependent on our mommies and daddies. I think everyone (no matter what side you're on) needs to open their eyes and stop being so judgmental, because each person's situation differs from the next.


There are hundreds of reasons why moving back home after you graduate is not only OKAY but also very smart. If you are lucky enough to have parents who allow you to move back in with them, be very grateful. Some of my favorite reasons for living at home are:

1. You get to save money. What percent of your paycheck goes towards rent and utilities? Rent and such greatly varies depending on your location, but let's say the average is about $500 to $1000 a month. Instead of wasting that money on rent (even if you have the means to do so) by living at home you can put that money aside each month and start saving up. Within 3 years (assuming by the time you turn 25 and most of us decide it's time to finally move out, ha) you can have saved anywhere from $18,000 to $36,000. That can be a down payment for a car or even a house. Or you can just have money saved up, which is always, always a good thing.

2. You can start paying off your loans. While some of us are lucky enough to have had school paid for us, many of us post-grads are probably eternally suffering the ridiculous amount of money we now owe due to school loans. By living at home, you can start paying off your loans right away instead of using that money towards rent and other expenses that come with living on your own. Figure out a plan for how you're going to pay back the loans—right away! Pretend you really are paying rent per month, set a (realistic) price, and pay that amount every month towards your loans. No exceptions.

3. Free food/meals. Sometimes. Honestly, nothing beats coming home from a long, exhausting day at work to a home-cooked meal, all ready to be devoured and cherished. For the most part, I usually cook my own meals and buy my own groceries, but it's nice to always have back up food. At least you know that when money's tight or you don't even have time to breathe let alone cook, you don't have to rely on ramen noodles. I think it's safe to say we are all sick of ramen noodles by this point.


While yes, you are living back home again, you have to keep in mind that you are no longer a kid. Just because you moved back doesn't mean things are going to be the same (aka you do not have free room service.) You are an adult now, so act like it. There are plenty of ways to not only establish your independence but also help your parents out, such as:

• Do your own laundry


• Clean your own room


• Help out with chores (vacuuming, taking out the trash, washing dishes, etc.)


• Buy your own groceries


• Cook your own meals (at least a few times per week)

You may have already been used to doing this while living away at college, or even when you were still in high school, but it's easy to get back into the habit of having someone else do all of these things for you. Don't fall into that trap. It will only turn you into the lazy twenty-something stereotype we are so desperately trying to avoid, remember?

If anything, living at home will help you get into the habit of doing all of these things, because you will probably have someone nagging you to do them (they mean well, I promise.)


Unfortunately, there is one issue that seems practically inevitable for the majority of us. Clashing with your parents (or siblings.) You're back home but you also want your own privacy and sense of independence. Sometimes that doesn't happen. Of course, it depends on your particular situation and the type of relationship you have with your family, but here is some of my own advice after months of dealing with such issues:

1. Be prepared to have mature conversations with your parents. You are no longer a teenager, so stop with the dramatics—the yelling, the door slamming, the eye rolling, etc. You should be able to sit down with them and have a calm, civilized conversation, explaining the way you feel and the reasons why. It might take a bit of practice (and you guys may never get the full hang of it, cause let's face it—family is family.) However, it's doable. Be as patient as you possibly can.

2. Dealing with curfews, overprotection, etc. Although I feel like an adult (most of the time…), I think my parents (especially my dad) will always view me as their little girl. That's why moving back home caused a couple of issues at first. I never really had a curfew, but you may be dealing with one. Try to reason with your parents and show them that you are responsible enough to handle yourself. The key here is to prove to them that they can trust you. Once again, it takes time, but it's doable. They may pull that "you're living under my roof, so you follow my rules" card, and that can drive just about anyone nuts—but don't pack your bags up just yet. Most of the time when parents act like this it's because they care about you and your safety, so try to understand where they're coming from. Let them know where you're going (even if it's a pain in the butt to do) and the general time that you will be home.

3. Do your part. As I mentioned before, even though you're living at home again, it doesn't mean it should be a free ride for you. You should still offer to do chores, run errands, cook meals, etc. Getting yourself into the habit of doing these things often will help avoid the most common clashes that occur. Consider yourself a roommate, rather than just their kid living back at home. Be a respectful and clean roommate.


So there you have it. It might not be your first choice, but having to move back home is not as bad as people make it out to be. It is really up to you what kind of attitude you assume and how you approach the situation. Try to keep in mind that this may also be the last time to really spend time with your parents (cue cheesy Full House music) before you head off on your own and maybe start your own family. Take this time to form a better relationship with them and appreciate the moments you have left together. You won't be "stuck home" forever. Make a plan, set goals for yourself, and take each day as it comes.

P.S. Thanks Mom & Dad

It takes time.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: no one has a clue what they are doing. It doesn't matter how old they are, what stage of their life they're in, how much experience they've obtained, etc. We are all living life as it comes at us, some of us are just better at pretending that we have it all figured out. And it's okay. It's okay to feel lost, scared, confused, or any of those other emotions that come with the territory of being HUMAN. I think we put way too much pressure on ourselves these days. There is so much pressure coming from all different directions- whether it's your family, friends, the media, society, even yourself. We often find that those who love us the most are the ones who put the most pressure on us, but it's simply because they want us to succeed in life. What is success, though? For some people success means money. For others it means having it all- the perfect job, perfect home, perfect family, perfect life. But you know what true success is? Being happy. Being okay with where you're at in life. Being at peace with yourself. Accepting life for what it is and not trying to fit a mold you are constantly being told you should fit into it.

The people who truly suffer the most from these types of pressures and stress are, you guessed it, us. The twenty-somethings. The ones who are just starting out their lives. The ones who are full of life and dreams and expectations. The ones who haven't been knocked down yet, and if they have been, the ones who still have the energy and will to stand back up and give it another try. I'm not trying to say that these are bad qualities to have, because I actually think we should feel this way about life throughout our entire lives, whether you're 25, 45, or 85. You should always look at each day as a new opportunity for something spectacular to occur. You should always be proactive in your own life. There's no other way to truly live. The problem is that as post-grads we put so much pressure on ourselves to live out our dream life and accomplish everything we have ever wanted- and what's worse is we want it all within a very short time. That's why it's so disheartening when you finally graduate and are onto the next chapter in your life and you find yourself at a job you absolutely hate, even though you thought you would be doing what you love, or you're not even sure what exactly you want your career to be. If you're anything like me, you want your life to start NOW. You want to have the job of your dreams (or even settle for something you half-way enjoy and make decent money at) so you can be out in the world on your own and really LIVE. But usually, as in most cases, reality slaps you in the face.

I'm here to tell you that just because you graduated college and are entering "the real world" does not mean you are going to automatically have it all figured out. And even if you're a smart individual who already knew all this and saw it coming, actually living it is not what you might have expected. It is a lot harder than any of us imagined it would be. We might have told ourselves that it'd be okay to just go with the flow for a couple years until we really figure it all out. And you're right, it is okay to do that, but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. But that's okay, too. You got this. You will figure it out. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to feel confused. It's okay to not know which direction to take, let alone which direction you're facing. The best piece of advice I can give anyone who is going through this (and something that quite frankly I need to listen to as well) is to just live. Live your life. Live in the now. Take it one step at a time. If you're in a situation in which you're not happy, change it. Do not stick with it if it is not working for you. Only you can decide what you truly want, what you truly need.

We are lucky because we are still young. But even if you're not a "twenty-something", you still have time. Time to find your passion, to find what inspires you, to do what you want to do with your life. No situation is ever set in stone. There is always a way out, somehow. Even if you just take baby steps. Have the courage to look life in the face and say, "Today I will live."

Staying In Touch With Friends Post-College

With all the people you meet at school, you're bound to make a few life-long friends along the way. Most of the time these friends are people you see every day—whether it's to go to class, get lunch/dinner, study at the library, go out to the bars or maybe you even lived with some of these friends—point is they become an integral part of your life. So what happens after you graduate? It's more than just the summer apart now. A lot of your friends might move back home or get a job somewhere else. Regardless of the circumstances, the majority of you will end up going in different directions (and I mean this location-wise as well as life-wise.) As sad as it may be, many friendships may not make it through this transitional period. It may seem like an inevitable part of life, but I think the problem really lies in lack of effort from both sides of the spectrum. While I've only been out of school for 8 months now (time FLIES) I've already experienced a lot of changes in many of my friendships. I'm one of the lucky ones though and feel that I am still close to most of my friends. Although we may not get to talk every single day or see each other that often, we all still make an effort to stay in touch. It is certainly more difficult now and changes can be a really scary part of life, but it's doable! Here are some of my tips on staying in touch with friends after you graduate and maintaining those close bonds you formed throughout your years together:

• Plan a huge get together. The trick here is making sure you plan it plenty of time in advance (at least a month, but not too in advance that people end up forgetting about it) in order to make sure that people can plan accordingly and actually attend! Also, if your get together involves drinking, it'd be smart to try and get a limo or party bus so no one has to be the designated driver. It's also easier (and so much more fun!) to have everybody travel in one bunch. You also want to try and plan it during  a time when more people are likely to be home (assuming you are all from one area) that way even those who have moved away for work will still be able to attend as well. I recently planned a huge get together for all my friends a couple days after Christmas when most people were not only home for the holidays but also free from work and other responsibilities.

• Use technology! We live in an age where there is really no excuse for not being able to contact someone. Don't let yourself get so busy that you don't have time to send a simple text to see how people are doing. A phone call to catch up every once in awhile is also a great way to stay in touch and keep the friendship alive. Don't let your pride get in the way of being the first to reach out. Also, don't just rely on commenting on their Facebook posts and instagram pictures. While it is a way of keeping in touch, it's not very personable. If you both always seem to be busy, at least try to do private messaging on Facebook. Make use of all the technology our generation is provided with! Try setting up Skype dates with friends. You can even do group chats to make it more of a "get together" feel.


• Make a trip out of visiting them. If they live somewhere else, and you have the means to do so, go visit them! It's a great way to get a change of scenery and some vacay time while also getting to spend time with your friend. In some cases you might end up liking it so much where they now live that you end up moving there, too! It's a great time to travel while we're still young and not plagued with a ton of responsibilities. It can also be the perfect time to travel and see more parts of the country/world because you'll know people who live in these areas. This hopefully means you not only have a place to say but also your own personal tour guide! One of my friends recently moved to Paris and you better believe I'm already planning my trip to visit her. 

• Vacation together. This is slightly similar to the previous tip, but this way you can meet up with a few friends at one designated vacation spot. Agree to get together at least once a year. Obviously a lot of these tips involve both parties being willing to put in the effort, but sometimes it's good to have a certain date planned out way in advance to get people more willing to do so. A weekend getaway once a year is a perfect way of getting together and might not require anyone to take off work. For example, Memorial Day weekend is a perfect time to plan something because it's longer which gives more time for travel and it's also a time most people get off work. These yearly trips can even become some type of tradition which gives you even more of an opportunity to stay in touch.


• Make time for friends. This is my most important piece of advice. Don't let yourself get so wrapped up in your new life, new job, maybe even new friends, that you forget about your old ones and all those people who got you through the last four years and who shared all those awesome college memories with you. It does take time and effort but a life-time friendship takes work and commitment. Trust me though, it's totally worth it. It does take two to tango, and if you feel that you are the only one putting in the effort to maintain a friendship than maybe it just isn't worth it. Don't let your pride get in the way however. It does neither of you any good to be bitter that the other person hasn't texted or called you first. We all have a lot going on in our lives. You have to be understanding of each other. But always remember, even though you might have a super busy schedule, it only takes ten minutes of your day to text or call a friend for a quick chat!