Life Slumps

I've not only been in a blogging slump for the past week or so, but I've found myself in quite a "life slump" as well. I'm definitely not making things better by having started a new show (finally hopping on the Game of Thrones bandwagon) and playing the Sims again. My life lately has been a mix of: job applications, GoT watching, Sims playing and some babysitting on the side. I feel like I haven't done anything that's truly "productive" and that sucks. As I've mentioned before, when you're unemployed it's very easy to fall into these "slumps" and suddenly catch yourself with zero motivation to do anything close to productive. I think it also has to do with the weather getting colder and the days getting shorter. I'm not complaining about my current life situation, because I do have a lot of good things going on and I've always done my best to be grateful for what I do have in life. I do wish, however, that I had something keeping me busy. Something making my mind excited and whirling with ideas and thoughts. A lot of the times I've found that my blog helps keep my creative juices flowing, but even In-Between Life has not been able to keep me on my toes.

The thing is, I know this is just a slump. It's not forever and eventually I will snap out of it once more. It happens to everyone. Sometimes it happens more often during certain periods of your life. The best thing you can do is remind yourself that it's just temporary. Whether good or bad, most things are temporary.

I have this feeling that my slump is almost over. I can feel my creative side just itching to get out. So until then, I'll leave you with this message:

Life Lessons: Never put your eggs all in one basket

It's a saying we've all heard before, but how many of you actually go by this rule? I know I have the tendency to put all my eggs in one basket... only to have said basket break/fray away/explode and there go all my eggs. The funny thing about this expression is that in can apply to so many areas in your life.

By definition "never put your eggs all in one basket" is a proverb that "warns against pinning all your hopes on one course of action." When you hear this it's usually being applied to some kind of investment or anything pertaining to money. But it's a valuable lesson for all parts of your life and the sooner learned, the better.

The first time I received this type of advice was when I was 13 years old. It came from my cousins who are older than me, around 16 and 17 at the time. They didn't say those exact words, but the same lesson applied. I was falling head over heels for a guy (for the first time really, so I was super naive) and they probably saw how silly I was being, especially since they were older and had more experience in the dating world. The advice came after I told them that no, I wasn't interested in that "super cute" boy at the water park because I was already "involved" with someone else (which I only later found out that no, we were not "exclusive"). They told me I should never just have one boy around and that it's okay to "play the field" so to speak. Of course, this was said in a joking manner, but it held a lot of truth to it. They were right. Oh my goodness, how right they were. It's a lesson that I'm still learning as I go through life. Unfortunately, I'm an old fashioned soul, who likes to stick to just one person. Someone who basically likes to put "all my eggs into one basket" when it comes to dating. It's simply because when I know I like someone enough, that's that. I naively expect the same in return. But life doesn't always work that way. That's a whole other story though (which I go into further detail in my online dating post). 

Okay, so now you get the point that this saying can certainly apply to the dating world. But the real reason I thought of writing this post was because I related to the saying in terms of work and jobs. As a post-grad, you'll probably be applying to jobs left and right. Maybe you just graduated and are looking for that dream job, maybe you're already working and in search of another job, maybe you graduated a long ass time ago and still searching for a job, period. You start applying to jobs and sometimes you get lucky and hear back from places right away. Other times (cough cough) you apply for weeks.. months... and still hear nothing. It's discouraging and frustrating. So, of course, when you hear back from one job and it could potentially be your dream job, you're practically about to burst with excitement. Good for you, because you should be excited! But, wait.

I'm in a similar position right now, and for a short while I started "putting my eggs all in one basket" once again. I day dreamed about my possible future with this company, what the future had in store for me, what it would be like, blah blah blah. Of course having that "can do" attitude doesn't hurt and it's good for you to really believe that you're going to get the job, but I know from experience that you shouldn't expect anything. So even if you get the interview, even if you move along to the next step of the process, even if it all seems so promising and exciting, don't stop applying to jobs. Keep applying. Keep working for your future. Just in case one basket falls apart, you still have other ones being filled in.

Don't do this.

Have you ever put your eggs all in one basket, only to have it go terribly wrong?

What do you think of this saying/lesson? Do you agree or disagree?

What's your personality type?

I've been taking personality type quizzes/tests my whole life (well, since the internet became popular.) 99% of the time I always got the INFP personality (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Prospecting.) Here is a little snippet to sum up this personality type:

"INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, INFPs have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4.5% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for this personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, they’ll truly feel at home."

Truthfully, I think I've had this personality type since a child and it's pretty much stuck. Recently, however, I took another personality type test for the first time in months (months in which I've gone through a complete transformation) and was surprised that this time I got the ISFP personality. What changed was now instead of Intuitive, I was getting Observant. It was almost a tie, with Observant winning by just 8%. I took the test a second time, changing my answers a bit (trying to really answer as truthfully as possible) and again, I got the ISFP personality type. Here's the quick summary of this personality type:

"ISFP personality types are true artists. This doesn’t necessarily apply in the typical sense, in which they are out painting happy little trees, though often enough they are perfectly capable of this. Rather, it’s that they use aesthetics, design and even their choices and actions to push the limits of social convention. ISFPs enjoy upsetting traditional expectations with experiments in beauty and behavior – chances are, they’ve expressed more than once the phrase “Don’t box me in!” ISFPs live in a colorful, sensual world, inspired by connections with people and ideas. But rather than take things as they are, ISFPs take joy in reinterpreting these connections, reinventing and experimenting with both themselves and with new perspectives – no other type explores and experiments with these ideas more. This process leads to an air of spontaneity, making ISFPs often seem unpredictable, even to their close friends and loved ones."

I find it so fascinating that even in the slightest bit, my first year as a post-grad has changed my personality type. Maybe some of you may think this is silly, but it's still interesting to ponder over. Certainly we are not restrained to having the same personality as we grow up and change the type of people we are. Hell, you may even find yourself going through a dozen personality changes! That might get a little chaotic, though.

If you want to find you what your personality type is, I recommend using this site. It's a really quick test and afterwards you're given a lot of information about your type. They also have this article that answers whether it's possible for your personality type to change (in short, they basically say no. I do not agree, neither do people who wrote in the comment area.)

Do you think your personality type can change, especially as you grow older and experience more in life?

Time is a funny thing

I've been thinking a lot about time lately, and how much can change (or how much doesn't change) in a set amount of time and just how funny the concept of time is. We can be living our lives normally and suddenly one day just changes it all, turns your life upside down. It can be anything, really. A tragedy or something wonderful, but regardless, your life has been changed in just that one moment. Or you look back at where you were three months ago and you say "was that really just three months ago? It feels like so much longer..." simply because so much has changed in your life, and within yourself, too. Then there are instances where you look back at your life a year ago and you find yourself almost exactly at the same spot, feeling as if nothing has changed.

I have basically gone through all of the above in just a "short" amount of time, about a month I'd say. Some days I feel all of these things at once. Some days are both positive and negative for me, and I'm still trying to figure out how I'm even managing to put up with that. Because let me tell you, if you don't already know, it's exhausting trying to stay positive 100% of the time when you are constantly reminded of why everything suddenly sucks again. And yet you have to. You can't let the bad vibes win. 

Anyway, back to the concept of time. It really is a funny thing. We ourselves don't even know how much time we have on this Earth, or how much time any of us have, and yet we grasp on to this concept of "time" so tightly, believing we have all the time in the world. Maybe we should stop living by this concept of time, which seems so irrelevant. I've always been someone who seeks out the future, or stays stuck in the past, sometimes even doing both of those things at once. I have a tremendously hard time living in the present and just enjoying today for what it is. Don't get me wrong, I do manage to enjoy my present moments a lot, especially as I've grown older. Life has happened to me far too often for me to not have finally learned to enjoy the present moment, and know that in any second things can drastically change. That people (or pets) will leave, that you won't have any more of those moments, so you should enjoy them while they last. I've learned to live that way, but it can also cause you to live in a constant state of fear that something bad will happen, and then eventually it does because you believed in it so much. 

This seems to be all over the place, but here is what I'm trying to get at (and hopefully if you aren't already living your life this way, you can strive to do so):

• Live in the present as much as possible. Don't get stuck in the past and don't worry about the future. Just let things be. You are where you are supposed to be.
• If you are going through a rough patch, don't worry. Everything can change in just one day. Stay positive and believe that better things await you. Don't just hope for it, truly believe it.
• If you are in a good spot in life, enjoy it 100%. Be grateful for what you have. You never know when things can change. But also don't worry about things changing. Just learn to appreciate all the good you have, before it's too late.

So basically, while I'm sure we can all agree that life is a bitch to all of us, it is also beautiful. We will all have our ups and downs, some more than others, but that's just how it is. A lot of people believe that before we are even born we choose the life we want, for whatever reason. That we are strong enough to live the life we have been given. While I myself am still trying to figure this all out and understand why things turn out the way they do, it's really important not to let yourself get stuck on the negative. Like I said before, you can't let the negative vibes win. Staying positive (as hard as it may be) in the worst moments in your life is just about the best possible thing you can do for yourself. 

If you are having a hard time, whatever the reason may be, stay strong. Stay positive. Believe with all your might that good things are coming, because they are. You just have to believe in it. 

Inspiration Monday: Those Happy Moments

I felt it today. I can't remember the last time I did. Deep in my soul, in my heart. True contentment. Happiness, perhaps? It felt warm, it felt calm, it felt bright. It still feels that way, and I hope it stays for awhile longer. I know life throws us obstacles all the time, some facing more than others, but when we get those moments of true happiness from within, cherish them.

I look at what I'm doing with my life, where I'm at right now, and I'm happy about it. No, it's not perfect, because nothing never really will be. But what is "perfect" is the way I feel about it, at this given moment in time. I haven't felt this way for months. Ever since graduating (maybe even months before then), I have felt lost, alone, scared, confused, etc. It's been a rough road, a scary one, a lonely one. I found myself at a crossroad and I never thought I'd cross it, wasn't sure I even knew how. But I did.

I'm following my dream and every day I see myself getting closer and closer. I know I will have many more "dreams" to come in my life, but it's exciting to know that I am on my way, at least to my first one. This is how it feels like, to do what truly sparks a passion in you, to do what makes you happiest, to do what you have always pictured yourself doing.

Some days are still hard. Some days are discouraging. Some days are exhausting. Some days are uninspiring. But I'll take the good with the bad. I have never felt more determined. Determined and motivated to beat those bad days to the pulp and take hold of the good days with all my might, squeezing out every bit of sunshine I can.

A Personal Note: Feeling Stuck

This post is certainly a very personal one, and I almost decided to keep it to myself, but I feel I need to share. My mind has been racing for days. I feel like I fell into quick sand and I'm sinking slowly, unable to claw my way out. I feel so unhappy with where I'm at in my life right now and with no way of getting myself out. I know I have talked about being positive and remaining focused on your passions, but some days even I can't keep myself in that mindset. This past week has really hurled me into a whirlwind of emotions, but for the most part I feel numb. I feel like I'm running out of options and I'm being forced into becoming something that every inch of my body is so desperately fighting against. I don't want to become a corporate drone who lives their 9 to 5 life and comes home exhausted and brain dead. I don't want to do something that I don't have any interest or passion for just because I need the money. After months of searching, I've found myself at a dead end. I'm feeling more and more discouraged every day. I hate having a negative perspective on things and I'm always trying to change my way of thinking because I know "positivity is key." But it's so much easier said than done. I almost feel like a hypocrite now because just a few days ago I was trying to send this message out to everyone, and now here I am fighting to get the tiniest sliver of hope. I have always, always been scared of settling. Whether it was in regards to a job, relationship, anything. I never want to have to settle. I want to know that the choices I'm making are based on what I love, and not out of fear. And I guess now that's what I'm doing. Settling for something because of fear. It's so easy for us millennials to settle for something because of what is expected of us.  At what point will that change? How many people are truly happy with their life and what they are doing? Why is that such a rare thing nowadays? And why does it have to take so much courage to just go out there and do what you love, despite the consequences and risks. I have no idea what my future holds. And I have no idea how to handle everything I'm going through right now. It brings me some ease of mind, however, to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I just wish more people were open about it. Maybe we all wouldn't be so scared to take such risks if we knew that more people felt this way, like there was more to life than just getting by.

It takes time.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: no one has a clue what they are doing. It doesn't matter how old they are, what stage of their life they're in, how much experience they've obtained, etc. We are all living life as it comes at us, some of us are just better at pretending that we have it all figured out. And it's okay. It's okay to feel lost, scared, confused, or any of those other emotions that come with the territory of being HUMAN. I think we put way too much pressure on ourselves these days. There is so much pressure coming from all different directions- whether it's your family, friends, the media, society, even yourself. We often find that those who love us the most are the ones who put the most pressure on us, but it's simply because they want us to succeed in life. What is success, though? For some people success means money. For others it means having it all- the perfect job, perfect home, perfect family, perfect life. But you know what true success is? Being happy. Being okay with where you're at in life. Being at peace with yourself. Accepting life for what it is and not trying to fit a mold you are constantly being told you should fit into it.

The people who truly suffer the most from these types of pressures and stress are, you guessed it, us. The twenty-somethings. The ones who are just starting out their lives. The ones who are full of life and dreams and expectations. The ones who haven't been knocked down yet, and if they have been, the ones who still have the energy and will to stand back up and give it another try. I'm not trying to say that these are bad qualities to have, because I actually think we should feel this way about life throughout our entire lives, whether you're 25, 45, or 85. You should always look at each day as a new opportunity for something spectacular to occur. You should always be proactive in your own life. There's no other way to truly live. The problem is that as post-grads we put so much pressure on ourselves to live out our dream life and accomplish everything we have ever wanted- and what's worse is we want it all within a very short time. That's why it's so disheartening when you finally graduate and are onto the next chapter in your life and you find yourself at a job you absolutely hate, even though you thought you would be doing what you love, or you're not even sure what exactly you want your career to be. If you're anything like me, you want your life to start NOW. You want to have the job of your dreams (or even settle for something you half-way enjoy and make decent money at) so you can be out in the world on your own and really LIVE. But usually, as in most cases, reality slaps you in the face.

I'm here to tell you that just because you graduated college and are entering "the real world" does not mean you are going to automatically have it all figured out. And even if you're a smart individual who already knew all this and saw it coming, actually living it is not what you might have expected. It is a lot harder than any of us imagined it would be. We might have told ourselves that it'd be okay to just go with the flow for a couple years until we really figure it all out. And you're right, it is okay to do that, but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. But that's okay, too. You got this. You will figure it out. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to feel confused. It's okay to not know which direction to take, let alone which direction you're facing. The best piece of advice I can give anyone who is going through this (and something that quite frankly I need to listen to as well) is to just live. Live your life. Live in the now. Take it one step at a time. If you're in a situation in which you're not happy, change it. Do not stick with it if it is not working for you. Only you can decide what you truly want, what you truly need.

We are lucky because we are still young. But even if you're not a "twenty-something", you still have time. Time to find your passion, to find what inspires you, to do what you want to do with your life. No situation is ever set in stone. There is always a way out, somehow. Even if you just take baby steps. Have the courage to look life in the face and say, "Today I will live."