100 Days Challenge: Improve Your Life

It's no secret that I've been having a rough few months and a generally challenging time of my life since I've graduated college. I've come a very long way and I know that by no means I am the same person I was a year ago, let alone "100 days" ago. I've always been a firm believer that your life can change drastically in just one day, whether for good or bad. I've always been the kind of girl who hopes one of those moments comes along that will just turn my whole world upside down, for the better, and magically all will fall into place. I still like to have that kind of belief, because there is something so innocent and naive about having that kind of mentality, that I don't really want to let go of it. I want to believe that good things are coming my way and that requires me having that hopeful and child-like magical belief in the universe.

Although I am holding onto this "magic" belief system very tightly, I also realize that a lot of life's circumstances are often in our control (not just the "universe"). This fall I let myself slowly fall into a very negative mindset, primarily because I was exhausted and frustrated with my job hunt. It affected all other parts of my life, though, and I wish I could have more control over that. I have been thinking a lot about New Year's resolutions and making changes in my life in general. My biggest goal in life is to be happy, no matter what the circumstances may be. And in order for you to be at peace with yourself and truly happy, you can't rely on any person, job, location, etc. as the source of your own happiness. I realize happiness comes from within and only you can control that. So, with all that being said, I'm ready to embark on one of those "100 days" challenges to improve my life for the better.

I got this idea while I was scrolling through the internet one night and stumbled upon this article called "60 Small Ways to Improve Your Life in the Next 100 Days." I loved it because it has so many ideas for improvements and not just within your self but also small improvements throughout your home, etc. I was going to officially start my 100 days challenge on New Year's Day, but I figured: why wait? My life could certainly benefit from improvements right away and if I start now, I'll already have a good 15 days under my belt as the new year begins. As of tomorrow, December 15th, my challenge begins. I'm going to share with you some of the things I will be doing/working on!

• Write down five things I'm grateful for at the end of every day.
• No complaining for the next 100 days. If I find myself complaining, even about the smallest thing, I will put a small token in a jar. By the end of the 100 day challenge, whatever amount of "tokens" in the jar are, I will add more days to this aspect of the challenge until I've officially gone 100 days without complaints!
• Write at least 500 words every day. It can be geared towards my novel, this blog or just regular stream of consciousness writing.
• Spend a few minutes at the end of each day tidying up my room and desk space to keep a clean and clear space in which I can be in.
• Exercise at least 20 minutes a day for the next 100 days.
• Make an active effort of not comparing my life to anyone else's.
• Leave behind my past and stop worrying about my future. This will probably be the hardest one for me to tackle, and I may not be successful every day, but for the next 100 days I am going to make it a daily reminder for myself.

Will you be partaking in any kind of "100 days" challenge come the new year? If so, please share!

Inspiration Monday: One month left to make 2014 count!

Can you believe it is already December 1st? This year seems to have gone by so fast for me. I had a lot of new experiences (definitely some life-altering ones) and many lessons learned along the way. Usually as the year comes to a close, I like to reflect on the past months and the changes I have gone through. Many times in the past I would be bitter that things did not go my way or that life didn't necessarily "change" in any way, sort of leaving me in the same place I was the year before. As I've grown older, however, I've realized that this is never the case. You may feel like nothing's changed, but if you really take time to look back and reflect, you'll realize just how much HAS changed, especially you.

Whether 2014 was great or awful, boring or exciting, mediocre or mind-blowing—it's still another year you get to add to your list, so don't take that for granted. This month is all about love. Love for your family, your friends, your significant others, your community, your surroundings, even the strangers you pass by on the street. Be grateful and spread joy and love as much as you can this month. Even if you had a crappy year, this month is the perfect time to try and put that behind you.

Make goals for yourself this month. Lots of people start off the new year with resolutions or goals for the year, but why not start doing that now, before the year is over? What would be a better way to welcome in a new year with goals already accomplished? I know I already have several goals I'd like to accomplish by year's end and I'm hoping it will put me in the right mind set by the time 2014 is over.

Things don't always go our way and sometimes we're left disappointed or discouraged, but that doesn't mean there's nothing you can do about it! I know this story all too well, especially these past several months. I know how hard it is to pick yourself up again, but I also know how important it is to keep trying and trying and trying. That's why I'm hoping you will join me in making this month a good one, a memorable one. We may not have control over everything, but we do have control over our actions and attitudes.

This is the perfect time of the year to do extraordinary things. Spread the joy. Volunteer. Smile at strangers. Help those in need. Help yourself. Do something you've been meaning to do but haven't gotten around to. Take a day trip somewhere fun with loved ones. Take lots of pictures to make those memories last. Set goals for yourself, even if they're small, and accomplish them. Prove to yourself that you're worth all the happiness in the world. And most importantly, don't forget to laugh at least once a day!

(Be as happy as this baby elephant)

Life Slumps

I've not only been in a blogging slump for the past week or so, but I've found myself in quite a "life slump" as well. I'm definitely not making things better by having started a new show (finally hopping on the Game of Thrones bandwagon) and playing the Sims again. My life lately has been a mix of: job applications, GoT watching, Sims playing and some babysitting on the side. I feel like I haven't done anything that's truly "productive" and that sucks. As I've mentioned before, when you're unemployed it's very easy to fall into these "slumps" and suddenly catch yourself with zero motivation to do anything close to productive. I think it also has to do with the weather getting colder and the days getting shorter. I'm not complaining about my current life situation, because I do have a lot of good things going on and I've always done my best to be grateful for what I do have in life. I do wish, however, that I had something keeping me busy. Something making my mind excited and whirling with ideas and thoughts. A lot of the times I've found that my blog helps keep my creative juices flowing, but even In-Between Life has not been able to keep me on my toes.

The thing is, I know this is just a slump. It's not forever and eventually I will snap out of it once more. It happens to everyone. Sometimes it happens more often during certain periods of your life. The best thing you can do is remind yourself that it's just temporary. Whether good or bad, most things are temporary.

I have this feeling that my slump is almost over. I can feel my creative side just itching to get out. So until then, I'll leave you with this message:

Learning from the tough times

I'm writing a post for the Northeast Bloggers Network about being thankful and grateful this month and making sure you don't skip over the meaning of Thanksgiving with all the hoopla that's going around about Christmas being "right around the corner." Both holidays have the same ideologies, but we tend to skip over what the true meaning of Thanksgiving really is because FOOD, FOOD, FOOD! Trust me, I don't blame any of you for doing that. In my post I talk about how it's important to try and take this month as a time to really think about what you're most grateful for and appreciate the little things, along with the big things. Slow down for a minute and forget about Christmas for just a couple weeks. Instead, focus on giving thanks, on being thankful, on reaching out to others, etc.

In the post I made a short list of ways to be grateful or start your path towards being grateful, and one of them actually spoke out to me the most. I didn't realize it while writing it, but I think this is something that can benefit nearly everyone, especially as this year starts coming to a close. It's common to make a list of what you were thankful and grateful for this year. A list of happy moments, moments of clarity, simple things in life that brought you joy, etc. But what we don't see on those lists? Bad moments. Heart wrenching moments. Moments that leave you a messy pile of tears on the floor as you curl up into a ball and wonder "WHY. WHY ME." Of course we don't list those moments. We rather forget about them. Put them in the past and pretend they never happen, only to creep their way into daily life eventually.

So that's when I thought, instead of listing the greatest moments of your year and why you are thankful for them- why not list the toughest moments of this year and why you are thankful for them. Yes. You heard me. Why you are thankful that life brought you such horrible events filled with pain and suffering.

Hear me out. Even in the darkest of hours, there is always a sliver of light, an ounce of hope. It's something that will no doubt be extremely hard to do, but there is something positive to be found in any of your hardest moments. A lesson learned, a realization of some sort, friends and families you know you can count on, the ability to feel something so deeply that when it's gone it leaves you feeling empty, the list goes on. The hard part will be figuring out what good came from what happened, but once you do it may help you better understand things. It might help you realize that everything happens for a reason, no matter how shitty that reason may be. I think working on this kind of list will really shed some light for you. It will open your eyes and it will help you see life in a new perspective.

Inspiration Monday: When you don't know what to do

Life often presents us with a platter full of options when you least expect it. If you're lucky, you're given something that you are 100% sure about, something that is your absolute dream. So naturally, there's no need to ponder and make a pros and cons list because you already know what your choice will be. The majority of the time, though, life doesn't work that way. We are given options that have both pros and cons and we ultimately have to make a decision, hoping we make the right one. I feel that during your early post-grad years, this is something that happens quite often. They also tend to be scary decisions. Decisions that can affect which direction your life takes off in, decisions that will determine your future. You can either end up extremely satisfied with your decision or completely miserable (and sometimes somewhere in between the two). So what do you do when it's your turn to decide?

If you're anything like me, you'll pretty much ask each of your friends for their opinion/advice. You'll even ask your parents. You'll go around asking just about everyone, because the more insight, the better, right? Maybe. When it comes down to it, you're the only one who can make this decision. You are the only one who truly knows what's best for you. You can ask for all the advice in the world, but chances are deep down, you already know what you're leaning towards. Sometimes it's exactly what people are telling you you should do. Sometimes it's what people are telling you NOT to do. Or in my case, it's somewhere in between. I think one of the reasons we like to ask for advice is so we can hear someone else validate your decision. Sure, there are times when you genuinely don't know what to do so you appreciate an outsider's point of view. Most of the time, though, you already know what you want to do.

But wait. You may know deep down what you want, but on the surface you're freaking out. You don't want to make the wrong decision. For whatever reason, something is stopping you from going in one direction as opposed to the other. That's when the confusing and frustrating part kicks in. Your future is staring you right in the face. Right now my future is staring me right in the face and growling. I'll admit, I'm a little bit terrified.

This time period in life is notorious for making big-time decisions, paving your life path, figuring yourself out, finding out who you truly are, etc. So, naturally, we feel super pressured! We want to make sure we get everything right. We want to succeed. We want to be happy. If only it was easier said than done.

So when you don't know what to do, when you don't know which direction to take, which decision to make, which option on the platter of life to take—don't freak out. Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. Maybe you'll end up making the wrong decision, but it's a decision you made, no one else. Do you know how lucky you are to even get to do that? Life will inevitably hand you a truck load of decisions and you will have to make some tough ones. Some you'll get right, some you won't. But that's what it's all about. Learning as you go. Figuring out who you are. What you want. And you know what else? You're 100% allowed to change your mind as many times as you want. There is no right or wrong answer here. It's your life and ultimately it's up to you what you do with it.

On making mistakes (constantly)

Lately I've found myself moving backwards. This is kind of how my life has always been. I make a mistake or I learn something (the hard way) but because of it I vow to make some sort of change, whether it's in my way of thinking or just life in general. I do this repeatedly. I always think that this is it, this is the last time, I will not repeat the same mistake. But you know what? 90% of the time I end up right where I started. For every step forward, I take two steps back. Or maybe it's really for every two steps forward, I take one step back? I rather think of it that way, because I know along the way of my many, many mistakes, I'm still learning, progressing and generally trying to make myself a better person.

This past month or so, the whole "unemployed & desperately looking for my dream job" thing has taken a toll on me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't struggling. Having a job, even if it was just a "nanny" job, kept my life in perspective and kept me more or less sane. I had a responsibility, one that I took very, very seriously, and somehow that also kept my head on my shoulders. I don't think I really realized the full extent of that until it was gone. I found myself kind of back to where I was immediately post-graduation, during one of the more difficult periods of my life, and although I do feel I have changed tremendously and matured, I had the sense that I had taken a giant leap backwards in life.

That's when I started repeating past mistakes. When I started to find myself on the edge of a cliff and extremely scared of what would happen if I let myself fall off. I want to have control of my life, I want to follow my dreams and pursue my passions, but fear has gotten in the way so many times. I felt that because I didn't have my "shit together" so to speak, I was a failure. Thus, it's okay for a failure to repeat past mistakes and pretend as if she's never learned her lesson, the hard way, multiple times.

The mistakes I made? I'm not going to go into detail about them. Those who are close to me probably already know and they know that it's been a struggle for me for awhile. Maybe if they've also paid close attention to my life, they are mistakes I make when things are rough. I like to share my personal life on here because I hope that I'm able to connect with other people and reach out to those who are struggling as well. While I would love to pour my heart out about all of this, there's only so much I can say, and even saying all of this is very personal to me. But there is a point in this story. A big one.

It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to keep making the same mistakes. It's okay to feel awful about it and it's even okay to not really care. You may have friends or family who will try to talk sense into you or you may even find yourself trying to talk sense into you, only to head back down that nasty road once again. Whether it's mistakes you're making with your relationships, with your family, with your friends, with your health, with your personal life, etc., it won't matter what other people say or do to try and make you change until you finally realize that you need to change.

One classic example I can think of that perfectly exemplifies this situation is when you have a friend who keeps making the same mistakes in his/her love life, no matter how many times you tell them to stop. I have had a couple friends who kept making the same mistakes, or more so hung on to the same mistake, for a very long time. You can give people all the advice in the world, but they won't change until they themselves realize everything. They'll probably even come to this realization more than once and just when you think "FINALLY!" they are back at it again. Don't give up on them, though. Don't give up on yourself. You keep making that same mistake? Someday you finally won't.

It's different for everyone, but we all have that "aha" moment or that real reason for wanting to make a change, but when you do that's freakin' awesome. You have reached your tipping point. You'll finally realize: it's time to change. It's time to stop repeating those mistakes.

I reached my tipping point recently. I don't know what makes this time different than any of the others (although I'm kind of starting to get a sense of it), all I know is I want to put an end to these mistakes that leave me feeling so crappy. We all make mistakes, all kinds of mistakes. Sometimes we make certain mistakes more than once. Sometimes we learn from them, sometimes we don't. What's important is that you realize you can change. It may take a lot of guts and a lot of courage and strength on your part, but it's possible, I promise.

Next time you find yourself making a mistake (even if it's something silly like making a typo on an important email) don't beat yourself up about it. It's okay to feel bad and it's okay to kind of freak out, but at most give it a day. Then after that period of "mourning", get back on your feet and try again.

How To: Get Yourself Out of a Slump

Since I've recently found myself in one of these very nasty "slumps" as I like to call them, I've had to become extra proactive in my attempt to basically slap myself back to reality. These are a few of the things that I did to get myself out of that slump (and am still continuing to do because it also helps you avoid getting back into that slump!) Hopefully some of these tips and tricks will help you, too!

photo credit: ~Liliana via photopin cc

1. Clean & Organize. This may be the last thing you want to do (believe me, I know) but most of the time it’s the very first thing you need to do in order to get out of that nasty rut you’re in. Cleaning your room/house and organizing things helps not only declutter the space you’re in, but also your head. Creating a clean and essentially “new” environment for yourself to be in is one of the first step’s in feeling better.
2. Read. Get out of your head for awhile. Reading a good book helps me escape my own world and enter the world the author has created. I love getting myself lost in a good book. I love it even more when I finish reading a book and it stays with me, leaves me pondering. A good book can be life changing. It can change your perspective. It can spark new ideas. A good book can make the impossible possible. 
3. Talk. Even if it means talking to yourself (if that feels weird, just write it out). Sometimes talking about what’s worrying you or what the problem is really does help, even in the slightest bit. Not having those thoughts rattling around in your brain can really be a huge weight off your shoulders. 
4. Do something silly. Okay you may think this is completely ridiculous, but seriously, do it! Belt out your favorite song (it can be a Taylor Swift song, it’s okay, I won’t tell) or do a little dance that you would never in your life do in public. I guarantee you will smile. If only because you feel like a total fool. But that’s okay. A smile goes a very long way. (Pro tip: If you’re out in public and can’t necessarily do “something silly” just imagine yourself doing the most ridiculous thing possible. I used to imagine myself dancing like a lunatic when I was on the bus and I’d catch myself smiling. It works!)
5. Make a to-do list. It can be the most mundane tasks. List anything you want. Make them simple things. Stuff you can easily do. Just being able to cross things off your to-do list will make you feel better and more proactive. It’s a step in the right direction.
6. Binge-watch a show on Netflix. Okay, this is a no-brainer. It may not be the most ideal thing to do if you’ve already been lounging around in your bed for days. But sometimes we do need those moments of just doing absolutely nothing but mindless television watching. It’s a great way to distract yourself, if that’s what you truly need right now. Just don’t let yourself become so involved in that Netflix marathon that you become a lazy bum and you’re back to square one.
7. Create an inspiration board. This is good because it not only requires you to search for inspirational quotes and pictures online (I recommend Pinterest, of course) but it also means you have to get crafty and put those hands to good use. If you have a printer you can print out the pictures/quotes/etc and then all you need are scissors, glue and paper (or a poster board!) Don’t have a printer? Perfect excuse to get out of the house. Staples has a printing center and it’s fairly cheap. Or you can use your local library. Once you have your inspiration board all set, put it up somewhere you’ll see it every single day.
8. Set weekly goals. Sometimes when we find ourselves in these so called “slumps” it’s a little difficult to set long term goals. They seem so impossible and far off. That’s why you need to start small. Give yourself weekly goals that you know you can really accomplish. It not only gives you something to do, but it gives you something to look forward to. It also puts you back in control of your own life. (Pro tip: don’t feel bad when you don’t accomplish these goals. They’re not meant to set you back further or make you feel worse about yourself. Just keep trying.)
9. Try something new. This can be pretty much related to anything. Are you into cooking? Try a new recipe. Are you a fitness junkie? Try a new form of exercise. Do you like gardening? Plant something new. Is there a hobby you've always wanted to get into but never have before? DO IT!!! I recently signed myself up for guitar lessons (pro tip: put the credit card far away from your computer after you've had a few beers) and at first I was all mopey about it (long story, but mostly because I was feeling lazy and in that nasty slump) but I went through with it anyway and it rocked! I may just be the new Taylor Swift. Watch out world. What I'm trying to get at, however, is that trying something new can sometimes give you back that spark or interest in life that is so often missing when you find yourself in a slump, so it's definitely worth a try.
10. Volunteer. This can go hand in hand with the "try something new" method, but volunteering not only gives you something to do but you'll also be helping someone/something for the greater good and that is sure to boost your spirits. There are so many options for volunteering. You can sign up for something that requires time commitment so you also have something to keep looking forward to (I recommend Girls on the Run!) You can sign up for somewhere where you set your own schedule for when you come in if you have a busy schedule (example: many animal shelters let you pick the days and times you come in to help out). You can even volunteer for just one day, just to test the waters. I can honestly say that anytime I have volunteered, whether it was for Girls on the Run (best. experience. ever!) or for a hospital gift shop, I have gotten something good out of it.

What's your favorite thing to do when you're in a slump?

What has worked for you in the past? What hasn't?

Inspiration Monday: Keep on keepin' on

I woke up this morning (okay, more like afternoon because I stayed up all night catching up on the Vampire Diaries...perks of unemployment?) and for a SPLIT second I pitied myself. Then, I snapped the f* out of it and told myself I had plenty of things to do and to get to it. Just because I don't have a "job" doesn't mean I'm rendered useless and incapable of actually being productive today. It's so easy to find yourself void of motivation during times like these, but I can't stress enough how important it is for you (and your sanity) to keep yourself going. Keep believing, keep hoping, just keep doing something. Don't let yourself fall trap to the blues and negativity. Yes, it is extremely difficult under certain circumstances and it gets harder as time goes on and all seems to be a lost cause, but no matter—keep on keepin' on.

Before I start doing any of the millions of things on my to-do list today, I scrolled through my Pinterest inspiration board (comes in handy quite a lot) and I wanted to share some of my favorites with you, in hopes that it inspires you as well.

Inspiration Monday: Be Strong

I can't even recollect how many times I have heard the words "be strong" or some variation of that. Not just said to me, but to people around me or people saying it to someone else. "You have to be strong." "You can get through this, just be strong." "Be strong, you got this." Of course, they are wise words and in this hectic, chaotic mess of a life sometimes the only thing you can do is be strong. The thing is - so much easier said than done. Being "strong" is not easy, nor is it something that can easily be defined. Everyone has their own definition or perception of what "being strong" is all about.

I was scrolling through Pinterest the other day, where I like finding inspirational quotes (along with about a million other "pin-worthy" stuff), and I found this list of "18 things mentally strong people do."  I didn't really agree with all of them, but these are some that stood out to me:

• They move on. They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
• They embrace change. 
• They are kind, fair, and unafraid to speak up.
• They invest their energy on the present. They don't dwell on the past.
• They are willing to fail. They don't give up after failing. 
• They accept their feelings without being controlled by them.

I can go on and on about what makes a person strong, but what I may consider strong, you may not. Some people view being strong as being void of emotions and feelings, of not letting yourself get caught up in any of that messy stuff. Others simply view being strong as getting up day after day, despite how hard your life may be. You know what? What's most important is that you view yourself as strong. Figure out what your definition of "strong" is and then strive to be that, every chance you get. It's not easy, but if it were, I don't think we would see it as such a virtue. 

Don't base your "strength" off others. Everyone is facing their own battles, everyone faces life differently. You alone are the one who determines how strong you can be, how strong you are willing to become. You have the power to "be strong." Don't ever let anyone define what your own strength is. 

Have an awesome week.

xo, Val

Inspiration Monday: Take a step back and reflect

This is the last Monday before Labor Day, which in my eyes at least, basically means summer is coming to an end. Fall is right around the corner, which excites me because it is one of my favorite seasons, but that means summer is over and that's always a sad thing. Every summer holds so many possibilities and adventures. If you're anything like me, you start off your summer extremely excited for what this one holds for you... what awaits you. What might change and what might not. Sometimes you start off with a huge list of expectations, only to find yourself at the end of the summer totally bummed out. But then there are some summers that are so great that they will live in your memory forever and ever. What kind of summer did you have this year?

Since we're reaching the end of something and the beginning of something new, it's a good time to take a step back and reflect. Truthfully, this is something you should do often, not just when one season ends and another begins. Sometimes we just need to take a step back from all the chaos, especially the chaos that goes on in your mind, and truly reflect on your life. Everything that's happened thus far, what has changed for you and what has not, where you'd like to be, etc.

As only natural for me, I've been doing a lot of reflecting the past few days, since my summer is coming to an end. It did not in the least bit go the way I thought it would when it had first started, but that's okay. I've come to accept the way things have played out for me. I learned a lot about myself this summer (or rather, realized that I had already known all along). Looking back at where I was a year ago—a totally lost post-grad freaking out about what to do with my life and my career—I think I've come a long way. Although I think we will always feel a little bit "lost" so to say, I certainly don't feel as lost, confused and scared anymore.

I now have a clear idea of what I want my career path to be, it's just a matter of working really hard to get an opportunity. And time. Time is always a bitch. But, that's how it goes. In other parts of my life, I'm feeling more level headed as well. I haven't felt "myself" in a very, very long time, but I am starting to finally feel more like the "real Val." I'm sure there will be setbacks and more ups and downs, but I'm ready for them. Maybe the events of this summer, this entire year, were necessary in order for me to do a complete roundabout and realize these things. Who knows.

So for this Inspiration Monday, I'd like you to take a step back and reflect. You can reflect on your summer, or your past year, or your entire life! Clear your mind and really think about things. Take your time to analyze. Look at everything with a new perspective. Sometimes, that's all we really need.

Inspiration Monday: Hustle, Hustle, Hustle

These past couple of weeks I've found myself busier than I have been the entire summer accumulated.  I have new projects left and right and so many new things going on in regards to my blog (which you will see/get more info on very soon!) Basically, I've been hustling. Not just with my blog, but in other areas of my life as well. I'm determined to see my dreams come true. I'm determined to land that dream job, or at least start the path towards it. I always kind of knew that just sitting around waiting for things to happen wasn't a good way of succeeding, but it's not until recently that I finally got the determination to actually pursue my dreams and ambitions. Nothing worthwhile is easy, so you need to put in the hard work to see the pay-off. 

We've had this idea drilled into our heads since kids, though, right? At least I have. I've always been told that hard work pays off, that you need to put yourself out there in order to succeed, etc. However, it's much easier said than done. Even though I'm a lot busier these days and working hard towards a lot of new things, I know I could be doing even more. But I'm trying to take it one step at a time. It's also very easy (at least for me) to get overwhelmed with new projects and ideas. In the past I've had moments like these and put so much of my energy and time into it that I quickly burn out, leaving my brain fried and exhausted for a long time. This time, I'm trying to take things as they come and not go crazy on the hard work. It's so tempting, though! When you're this passionate about what you want to be doing and determined to see yourself succeed as soon as possible, it's hard to stop working and turn your brain off for awhile just to let yourself be. Could be one of the reasons I've had trouble sleeping the past couple of weeks! Oops.

So for this week's inspiration Monday, I'd like to remind you all that in order to see your dreams come true you have to hustle, hustle, hustle! Put in the work necessary. Make it happen. Get in that mindset. But at the same time, don't forget to take a step back every once in awhile. It's okay to give yourself a break. If you don't, you might overwork yourself and then what good will that do you? Also, remember that just because you don't see instant results, in whatever it may be that you're pursuing, doesn't mean you won't get there. Some things take a lot of time. The important part is that you don't give up. Set backs are inevitable. What counts is that you bounce back from them. 

Whatever happened to adventures?

Attention: It is the last Monday in July. That means there's about a month left of summer. A month left to have an awesome summer adventure. One month left to make this summer one to tell your grandchildren about (unless you've already accomplished that, then kudos to you!)

I, unfortunately, have not accomplished that yet. Sure, my summer has been interesting in many ways, but I haven't gone on any of these adventures I crave. Today I realized I have a month left. Which honestly, is plenty of time. Anything can happen within one month.

I have such a wanderlust itch that I can't get rid of and sometimes I wish I could just toss all my responsibilities out the window and just get in my car and drive, drive, drive until I don't even know where I am anymore. But, I can't. I have responsibilities. My friends have responsibilities. Long gone are the days of spontaneous adventures. But why does it have to be that way?!

Why is it that as we grow older we lose that sense of adventure? The spontaneity of life. The "f* it let's do it" attitude. I look around and all my friends seem to be growing up and I'm still back here flailing my arms around, not wanting to let go of my inner child. I feel like Rose at the end of Titanic when she's on that door and Jack's already dead (you could have fit both of you on that door, bitch) and the boat comes to look for survivors and she's weakly saying "come back, come back" but they can't hear her. That's actually really depressing imagery but I think you get the point.

Being a twenty-something is a weird time. I'm sure it only gets weirder from here on out. I know it's time for me to let go of certain things and move on to the next big adventure in my life. I look around the other twenty-somethings I know, and they're either already doing that, or stuck and feeling bored, but already settling with what they've got. Dude. Don't settle. Never settle. Always go after your passions, what you truly want. Now is the time to do it after all. Have that one last big adventure. One last hurrah.

And thus, I should be taking my own advice. Until now I've felt like I'm waiting for something. I never realized I was actually just waiting for myself. Waiting to let go of fears, or just embrace them, and get out there. Have an adventure. One that might completely and totally fail and blow up in my face, but hey, at least I can say I gave it a shot, right?

When I look back on my life and contemplate what to tell my grandchildren, I'm going to tell them that this summer was the one before everything changed. This was the summer I let my "childhood" go and prepared myself to set out onto the next adventure in my life.

In the meantime, I have one month left to make some long-lasting memories.

Time is a funny thing

I've been thinking a lot about time lately, and how much can change (or how much doesn't change) in a set amount of time and just how funny the concept of time is. We can be living our lives normally and suddenly one day just changes it all, turns your life upside down. It can be anything, really. A tragedy or something wonderful, but regardless, your life has been changed in just that one moment. Or you look back at where you were three months ago and you say "was that really just three months ago? It feels like so much longer..." simply because so much has changed in your life, and within yourself, too. Then there are instances where you look back at your life a year ago and you find yourself almost exactly at the same spot, feeling as if nothing has changed.

I have basically gone through all of the above in just a "short" amount of time, about a month I'd say. Some days I feel all of these things at once. Some days are both positive and negative for me, and I'm still trying to figure out how I'm even managing to put up with that. Because let me tell you, if you don't already know, it's exhausting trying to stay positive 100% of the time when you are constantly reminded of why everything suddenly sucks again. And yet you have to. You can't let the bad vibes win. 

Anyway, back to the concept of time. It really is a funny thing. We ourselves don't even know how much time we have on this Earth, or how much time any of us have, and yet we grasp on to this concept of "time" so tightly, believing we have all the time in the world. Maybe we should stop living by this concept of time, which seems so irrelevant. I've always been someone who seeks out the future, or stays stuck in the past, sometimes even doing both of those things at once. I have a tremendously hard time living in the present and just enjoying today for what it is. Don't get me wrong, I do manage to enjoy my present moments a lot, especially as I've grown older. Life has happened to me far too often for me to not have finally learned to enjoy the present moment, and know that in any second things can drastically change. That people (or pets) will leave, that you won't have any more of those moments, so you should enjoy them while they last. I've learned to live that way, but it can also cause you to live in a constant state of fear that something bad will happen, and then eventually it does because you believed in it so much. 

This seems to be all over the place, but here is what I'm trying to get at (and hopefully if you aren't already living your life this way, you can strive to do so):

• Live in the present as much as possible. Don't get stuck in the past and don't worry about the future. Just let things be. You are where you are supposed to be.
• If you are going through a rough patch, don't worry. Everything can change in just one day. Stay positive and believe that better things await you. Don't just hope for it, truly believe it.
• If you are in a good spot in life, enjoy it 100%. Be grateful for what you have. You never know when things can change. But also don't worry about things changing. Just learn to appreciate all the good you have, before it's too late.

So basically, while I'm sure we can all agree that life is a bitch to all of us, it is also beautiful. We will all have our ups and downs, some more than others, but that's just how it is. A lot of people believe that before we are even born we choose the life we want, for whatever reason. That we are strong enough to live the life we have been given. While I myself am still trying to figure this all out and understand why things turn out the way they do, it's really important not to let yourself get stuck on the negative. Like I said before, you can't let the negative vibes win. Staying positive (as hard as it may be) in the worst moments in your life is just about the best possible thing you can do for yourself. 

If you are having a hard time, whatever the reason may be, stay strong. Stay positive. Believe with all your might that good things are coming, because they are. You just have to believe in it. 

Inspiration Monday: Leap of Faith

“What defines us is how well we rise after falling.”

“Sometimes we find ourselves stumbling over obstacles we face today but always see the big picture and keep moving forward. Have faith - someday you will get to where you were meant to be and you will be strong enough to weather any storm.”

— Tom Krause

Inspiration Monday: Punch fear in the face.

I don't like it, but sometimes fear consumes me and prevents me from living my life how I would truly like to. Fear is an ugly thing and I wish none of us ever had to go through it because it really affects so many parts of our lives, and sometimes it prevents great things from happening. For this Inspiration Monday, I want you to take a look at the fears that you are holding on to (because let's be fair, we all have some) and try to find a way to just let them go. It's not easy, believe me, I know. But it is necessary. It is necessary if you want to grow as a person, make changes in your life, and most importantly, if you want to be truly happy. Let go of the fears.

"The key to change is to let go of fear."

-Rosanne Cash

"I let go of the fear and the peace came quickly."

-Lea Michele

"Everything you want is on the other side of fear."

-Jack Canfield

and because I know so many of us are constantly asking the universe for this, here it is:

Guest Post: A Year of Self-Discovery

Hello! My name is Raewyn and I blog over at Be a Warrior Queen! You may have seen me hanging out over here this past month...in case you missed me, here's a little about me! 

I'm one of those people that can be loud and in your face, but in the most loveable way ever. I try my best to always be happy and find the positive. My blog is one part being positive and another part starting a movement. I want to start a magazine to empower young women and girls to be themselves unashamedly.  I have a pick up truck named Chuck the Truck; my favorite clothes are 1950s inspired and I drink tea like it's going out of business. I just married my best friend of ten years and couldn't be happier! I would love if you'd stop by my blog and we could become the best of friends!

About a month or two ago, one of my guy friends tried to send me on a covert mission to find out if the girl he is dating wants to be serious. Being the person that I am, I obliged, but with a few questions and reservations for him because she is 21.

I don't have anything against anyone being 21 and in a relationship - I've had friends who got married while they were 21. From my experience, 21 is best served single and full of discovery. Before you get in a tizzy, I'm not saying anyone should break up, I'm just referencing my amazing year of self-discovery, so hear me out.

The month following my 21st birthday, I moved across the street from my ex-boyfriend. We went from a long distance relationship that we couldn't last in, to neighbors who were broken up. I'm not going to lie to you, I snuck in his window a lot and I made a lot of bad decisions when it came to him that year.

I wouldn't change a thing.

You see, I needed to make mistakes and get black out drunk. I was always more of a good girl, and I needed to embrace my wild side to find out where I'm most comfortable. If you're more of a wild child, perhaps you need to take a year of celibacy and reflection. Of course, we're all different. Regardless, self-discovery is best served alone. 

Alone with your thoughts and actions. You should make decisions for yourself, alone. Be a little bit reckless.

When I was 21, I learned a whole lot about myself. I dated a bunch of guys (oh lawd do I have some stories), and kissed a bunch of guys. I went on girl dates and girl trips. I went to way too many concerts - that's a lie, there is no such thing as too many concerts - and flirted with quite a few bands.

photo credit: Daniel Meron

I paid my rent from the tips I made as a food runner. I drove a pick up truck that liked to die on me. I took classes and didn't read the books (well, I still got straight A's somehow).

Write letters to the people who negatively impact you, and thank you cards to those that help you find yourself. Start a blog. Write in a journal. Travel for an extended amount of time.

What I'm trying to say is I took a year for me. It doesn't matter if that year is when you're 18, 21, 30, 52...just take a year to truly discover who you are. Those who love you will understand, because they've needed that year, too.

A Year of Transformation: What I've Learned Since Graduating

Do you ever look back at where you were a year ago and realize just how much has changed? I do that all the time. I love looking back. It used to be that I'd look back and get upset because sure, things changed, but never in the way I wanted them to. In the past I tended to have a much more negative outlook on life. I was the definition of "Negative Nancy," constantly being told by friends to be more of a "Positive Polly." I just couldn't, though. There were times in my life in which I refused to accept that there was anything positive in my life and that everyone else had the things in life that I wanted, that I believed I "needed" in order to be truly happy.

I have come a long way from being Ms. Neg Nanc. It's taken a couple of years and a lot of struggle (riding a roller coaster of ups and downs) but I feel I can finally say I am where I need to be in life. Things aren't perfect, because they never are (and the sooner you realize that and accept it, the sooner happiness will come to you.) I look back at where I was one year ago (if we're using exact dates, it was around the time of my graduation party) and feel my outlook on life has gone through a complete transformation. A good one. A positive one.

It wasn't easy. There were months of struggle. Months of let downs. Plenty of times I wondered if things would ever look up. My life sure was changing, but in the worst possible ways. Suddenly, I started to realize the most important lesson I might ever learn:

Your attitude determines the direction your life will go in.  

My one year of being a college graduate has certainly been an intense one, simply because of the inner battles I faced with myself every day. It's a really difficult transition for so many of us and it's so easy to get trapped in the "Negative Nancy" mindset. But it's important to realize that you're the one who determines your future as well as your happiness. The first step? Be more positive. Even an ounce of positivity a day can lead to better things. The attitude you adopt will always have an impact on your life.

Look at life as an adventure rather than a battle. No, things will not always be rainbows and sunshine, and yes, you will have some awful heart wrenching moments to get through, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

I still have those moments in which panic strikes and I start to worry about my future or worry that things will suddenly take a turn for the worse and I'll be spun into a spiral of despair (being a tad dramatic here) but when that happens I just do my best to hold on and keep reminding myself to stay positive. We're only human, so we can't be Positive Polly's 24/7. But that's okay! What counts is that you keep trying.

 I hope each and every one of you has the power to keep a positive outlook on life, despite whatever hardships and setbacks you may be facing. I know it's tough, but you owe it to yourself to at least give it a shot. Every single day!