Patience: The Hardest Lesson to Learn

I have never been a patient person. Whether it was dealing with mundane tasks like standing in line at the post office or sitting in rush hour traffic, to waiting for my diet to finally start giving me results or waiting for "time to pass" so my emotional wounds can heal, you could pretty much say I have had zero patience in life. But has that changed how fast things come to me? No. Has it delayed good things from happening? Probably. Has it frustrated the hell out of me? ABSOLUTELY!

I certainly don't think I'm alone in this kind of mentality, but in the past I've definitely thought that out of all my friends and peers, I've had to be the most patient of them all. It seemed the more patience was needed of me, the harder it was to get through anything. Having patience (and I mean truly having it—not just convincing yourself otherwise) has been something I've been "working on" for years now, but it's only until this summer or so that my lesson in patience has really kicked in. Let's just say that this summer has been one hell of a roller coaster ride, one that left me (and my life) hanging upside down for awhile.

Through all that's been happening in my life, however, I've found some kind of peace. If you told me a year ago that I would be the person I am now, I would have never believed it (because I was stubborn back then and thought my world was doomed 75% of the time). Part of this new found peace (and patience) I can contribute to growing older and maturing.

The other part? Finally accepting the things that I cannot change. Appreciating the good in my life. Believing that the best is yet to come. Excitement for the future rather than worry. Taking it one day at a time. Not putting so much pressure on myself. Allowing myself to have bad days, while realizing that they will pass and tomorrow is always a new start. The list goes on, but I think you get the gist.

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Post-grad life has not been easy, especially when it comes to patience. Although at this point is it even considered "post-grad" life, since I graduated over two years ago? I guess not! I'm starting to shift into a more comfortable, confident position in my life. The funny part is that not much has changed externally. I'm still searching for that "dream job" and have had several different positions since graduating. I'm still living at home, for the time being, until I can get a solid financial foundation going. I'm still single, although that part isn't necessarily a focus in my life right now anyway. My point is that what has truly changed is me. And that's what I was missing this whole time.

Sometimes we get stuck in the mindset that "if only ____ would happen, then my life would be better" or "if I had ____ in my life, surely everything would fall into place", etc, etc. I was a slave to this way of thinking for years. I definitely knew better, but it was very difficult for me to break this habit. I was so convinced that I needed my life to change externally in order for things to change internally.

Don't get me wrong, I still make mistakes. I still fall into this mindset (a lot more than I care to admit). But what's changed is that I've learned to be patient with myself and with my life. I know that when I start thinking this way, I either need to let myself ride it out or talk myself out of it because I know better (it all depends on my mood that day, haha!)

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I hope that you're able to take away something positive from this post. I know how difficult it is to be patient, not only with your life, but with yourself as well. Ironically, I'm writing this right now while in a terrible mood. Yet, I'm able to control it because I know it's only temporary. So next time you feel like you just can't take anymore: close your eyes, take a deep breath and remind yourself that everything will be okay. Be patient with yourself. 

Inspiration Monday: Today is a New Day

Often times we find ourselves making mistakes that we immediately regret (or eventually will) and it's hard to get past that moment. You may find yourself embarrassed, angry, disappointed, sad, confused, etc.; the list goes on. The thing is, everyone makes mistakes and the sooner you accept that you are not perfect, the sooner you will be able to pick yourself up again.

It's for your own benefit if you develop a mentality in which each day is a fresh start, a new beginning. Surely you've heard this before and you've probably tested it out yourself a couple times, but has it ever really stuck? It's difficult to keep a positive mindset on a daily basis, but if you manage to start off your day on a bright note, it can certainly make all the difference.

I was inspired to write this post because it was something that occurred to me this morning as I was leaving my house to head to work. I made a mistake last night, a mistake that is frequently made, despite my efforts to change time and again. So, I had two options. I could either spend the day angry and disappointed, amongst other bad emotions, or I could look at the beautiful day ahead of me and accept that it was a new day and I could start over, leaving those negative thoughts behind.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed or made better, but when we're lucky enough to have the opportunity to change our ways and make sure those mistakes do not happen again, you have to strive for that. Do not dwell on the past. Think of today, and every day, as a new chapter in your book.

"Don't let yesterday use up too much of today."

-Will Rogers

How To: Get Yourself Out of a Slump

Since I've recently found myself in one of these very nasty "slumps" as I like to call them, I've had to become extra proactive in my attempt to basically slap myself back to reality. These are a few of the things that I did to get myself out of that slump (and am still continuing to do because it also helps you avoid getting back into that slump!) Hopefully some of these tips and tricks will help you, too!

photo credit: ~Liliana via photopin cc

1. Clean & Organize. This may be the last thing you want to do (believe me, I know) but most of the time it’s the very first thing you need to do in order to get out of that nasty rut you’re in. Cleaning your room/house and organizing things helps not only declutter the space you’re in, but also your head. Creating a clean and essentially “new” environment for yourself to be in is one of the first step’s in feeling better.
2. Read. Get out of your head for awhile. Reading a good book helps me escape my own world and enter the world the author has created. I love getting myself lost in a good book. I love it even more when I finish reading a book and it stays with me, leaves me pondering. A good book can be life changing. It can change your perspective. It can spark new ideas. A good book can make the impossible possible. 
3. Talk. Even if it means talking to yourself (if that feels weird, just write it out). Sometimes talking about what’s worrying you or what the problem is really does help, even in the slightest bit. Not having those thoughts rattling around in your brain can really be a huge weight off your shoulders. 
4. Do something silly. Okay you may think this is completely ridiculous, but seriously, do it! Belt out your favorite song (it can be a Taylor Swift song, it’s okay, I won’t tell) or do a little dance that you would never in your life do in public. I guarantee you will smile. If only because you feel like a total fool. But that’s okay. A smile goes a very long way. (Pro tip: If you’re out in public and can’t necessarily do “something silly” just imagine yourself doing the most ridiculous thing possible. I used to imagine myself dancing like a lunatic when I was on the bus and I’d catch myself smiling. It works!)
5. Make a to-do list. It can be the most mundane tasks. List anything you want. Make them simple things. Stuff you can easily do. Just being able to cross things off your to-do list will make you feel better and more proactive. It’s a step in the right direction.
6. Binge-watch a show on Netflix. Okay, this is a no-brainer. It may not be the most ideal thing to do if you’ve already been lounging around in your bed for days. But sometimes we do need those moments of just doing absolutely nothing but mindless television watching. It’s a great way to distract yourself, if that’s what you truly need right now. Just don’t let yourself become so involved in that Netflix marathon that you become a lazy bum and you’re back to square one.
7. Create an inspiration board. This is good because it not only requires you to search for inspirational quotes and pictures online (I recommend Pinterest, of course) but it also means you have to get crafty and put those hands to good use. If you have a printer you can print out the pictures/quotes/etc and then all you need are scissors, glue and paper (or a poster board!) Don’t have a printer? Perfect excuse to get out of the house. Staples has a printing center and it’s fairly cheap. Or you can use your local library. Once you have your inspiration board all set, put it up somewhere you’ll see it every single day.
8. Set weekly goals. Sometimes when we find ourselves in these so called “slumps” it’s a little difficult to set long term goals. They seem so impossible and far off. That’s why you need to start small. Give yourself weekly goals that you know you can really accomplish. It not only gives you something to do, but it gives you something to look forward to. It also puts you back in control of your own life. (Pro tip: don’t feel bad when you don’t accomplish these goals. They’re not meant to set you back further or make you feel worse about yourself. Just keep trying.)
9. Try something new. This can be pretty much related to anything. Are you into cooking? Try a new recipe. Are you a fitness junkie? Try a new form of exercise. Do you like gardening? Plant something new. Is there a hobby you've always wanted to get into but never have before? DO IT!!! I recently signed myself up for guitar lessons (pro tip: put the credit card far away from your computer after you've had a few beers) and at first I was all mopey about it (long story, but mostly because I was feeling lazy and in that nasty slump) but I went through with it anyway and it rocked! I may just be the new Taylor Swift. Watch out world. What I'm trying to get at, however, is that trying something new can sometimes give you back that spark or interest in life that is so often missing when you find yourself in a slump, so it's definitely worth a try.
10. Volunteer. This can go hand in hand with the "try something new" method, but volunteering not only gives you something to do but you'll also be helping someone/something for the greater good and that is sure to boost your spirits. There are so many options for volunteering. You can sign up for something that requires time commitment so you also have something to keep looking forward to (I recommend Girls on the Run!) You can sign up for somewhere where you set your own schedule for when you come in if you have a busy schedule (example: many animal shelters let you pick the days and times you come in to help out). You can even volunteer for just one day, just to test the waters. I can honestly say that anytime I have volunteered, whether it was for Girls on the Run (best. experience. ever!) or for a hospital gift shop, I have gotten something good out of it.

What's your favorite thing to do when you're in a slump?

What has worked for you in the past? What hasn't?

Pursuing my dream job

Many of you bloggers may be familiar with the "Blogtober" challenge with the goal of blogging every day in October. At first I thought I'd give it a go, but honestly I've been the laziest bum ever these past couple of days. I've let sucky times get the best of me and resorted to laying in bed sleeping and/or Netflixing (can that become a word?) all day (and night...) I haven't been very productive. Being jobless sucks. You'd think having all this free time would mean I FINALLY catch up on all these projects I've started and such, but my motivation is seriously lacking. I actually had to slap myself in the face today to snap out of this mopey mess I've become. I absolutely dread getting sucked back into that hole of post-grad misery I faced about a year ago, so I am absolutely not going to let myself get to that point. I have been applying to jobs, but jobs that actually interest me/are relevant to what I want to be doing with my life are lacking, so who knows where the road may take me...

Anyway, I'm getting off topic. The point is, I was scrolling through my blog newsfeed and I noticed that today's Blogtober challenge is to write about your dream job, which is funny because that's exactly what I've been thinking about for awhile now. I know I always say I don't know what I want to be doing with my life or what direction I want to go in, but deep down I actually do know what my dream job is. I know exactly what I want to do. The problem is that I'm too scared to pursue it. I'm too scared to lack financial security. I'm too scared of failing at something that actually means the world to me. I'm too scared to actually get started and pursue that dream job.

The funny thing is I've known what my "dream job" is since I was a kid. I just never really acknowledged it until recent years. It's not an easy job and it's not something that many people are successful at. It's a job that if I do pursue, I want to be the very best at, and it scares me to think that I won't be. How will I ever know if I don't try, though?

Okay, ready? My dream job is... to be an author. Surprise, surprise. A blogger whose dream job is to be an author (absolutely no shock factor there, sorry for the suspense). The thing is, it's not something I really tell people. Or at least haven't gotten to telling people until very recently. I feel that especially in today's world, it's not really a viable career option—to be an "author". I don't want to be just a "writer", I want to actually be an author—someone who writes books and books that people actually enjoy. I'm always so critical of books that get turned into movies, but you know what? That would rock my world. If that ever happened I think it would possibly be the high point of my life. This isn't really something I've told to anyone, and here I am putting it on my blog for the whole entire world to read. I guess in a way it's like giving myself a kick in the butt. Now that I've told all of you, I actually have to follow through with it.

And that's exactly what I plan to do. I am jobless right now. So even though I will be applying for jobs, I'm going to take the free time I have now to not only work on this blog that I have come to love so much, but also finally get started on all that book business. I have tried before, but it was a pretty weak attempt. I know that even if I do get a job, I will continue to pursue my "dream job" so to speak. I guess that would mean I have two jobs. Writing may be a hobby of mine right now, but if I were able to actually make a career out of it... well that would be a huge thing to cross off my bucket list (I think meeting Leonardo DiCaprio would be number one on that list, no shame).

We all have dream jobs. We all have ambitions and goals that we'd like to some day reach, but sometimes fear gets in the way. Sometimes life gets in the way. Don't let it! Don't let anything stop you from pursuing your dream job. It's never too late. Seriously. Life is too short to just live day to day life. Even if your dream job is way off the charts and literally impossible to pursue, make a list of other things you want to accomplish. Things you know that you absolutely can accomplish if you just set your mind to it. A bucket list, basically. Make one today if you don't already have one. Check on it regularly. Pursue that list.

And as my favorite actor playing my favorite character from my favorite movie says...

A Year of Transformation: What I've Learned Since Graduating

Do you ever look back at where you were a year ago and realize just how much has changed? I do that all the time. I love looking back. It used to be that I'd look back and get upset because sure, things changed, but never in the way I wanted them to. In the past I tended to have a much more negative outlook on life. I was the definition of "Negative Nancy," constantly being told by friends to be more of a "Positive Polly." I just couldn't, though. There were times in my life in which I refused to accept that there was anything positive in my life and that everyone else had the things in life that I wanted, that I believed I "needed" in order to be truly happy.

I have come a long way from being Ms. Neg Nanc. It's taken a couple of years and a lot of struggle (riding a roller coaster of ups and downs) but I feel I can finally say I am where I need to be in life. Things aren't perfect, because they never are (and the sooner you realize that and accept it, the sooner happiness will come to you.) I look back at where I was one year ago (if we're using exact dates, it was around the time of my graduation party) and feel my outlook on life has gone through a complete transformation. A good one. A positive one.

It wasn't easy. There were months of struggle. Months of let downs. Plenty of times I wondered if things would ever look up. My life sure was changing, but in the worst possible ways. Suddenly, I started to realize the most important lesson I might ever learn:

Your attitude determines the direction your life will go in.  

My one year of being a college graduate has certainly been an intense one, simply because of the inner battles I faced with myself every day. It's a really difficult transition for so many of us and it's so easy to get trapped in the "Negative Nancy" mindset. But it's important to realize that you're the one who determines your future as well as your happiness. The first step? Be more positive. Even an ounce of positivity a day can lead to better things. The attitude you adopt will always have an impact on your life.

Look at life as an adventure rather than a battle. No, things will not always be rainbows and sunshine, and yes, you will have some awful heart wrenching moments to get through, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

I still have those moments in which panic strikes and I start to worry about my future or worry that things will suddenly take a turn for the worse and I'll be spun into a spiral of despair (being a tad dramatic here) but when that happens I just do my best to hold on and keep reminding myself to stay positive. We're only human, so we can't be Positive Polly's 24/7. But that's okay! What counts is that you keep trying.

 I hope each and every one of you has the power to keep a positive outlook on life, despite whatever hardships and setbacks you may be facing. I know it's tough, but you owe it to yourself to at least give it a shot. Every single day!

Inspiration Monday: Good Vibes

Today's message is simple. Good vibes. Feel them, send them, be them. Get rid of the negative forces in your life, surround yourself with all the positive. BE the positive. Good vibes. Plain and simple. 

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*from Lea Michele's new video, On My Way. Check it out ;)

Sending you good vibes for the week ahead ♥︎

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my $100 Target giveaway, one week left!)

Positivity is Key!

These past few months have been particularly difficult for me. The combination of moving back home, not being able to find a job I enjoy, not being sure which direction my life is headed in, and all of the changes that have occurred since graduating college have left me feeling pretty blue. While I know this is normal and I have a few friends who are also experiencing similar situations, it hasn't been easy to deal with. Often time I can't help but feel alone in my struggles, which is one of the reasons I started this blog, in hopes that I can reach out to anyone feeling the same way.

However, I've recently begun to change my perspective and put an emphasis on positive thoughts. Many days I find myself still feeling down in the dumps, but I keep reminding myself that it's going to get better because I believe it will. There is power in belief, but you have to truly mean it.

Anyway, my point in these ramblings is that I recently landed a job that I have a good feeling about and I'm so excited! I'm also really scared and nervous, but that's inevitable with my kind of personality. I'm staying positive. And that's one of the reasons I think I was finally able to get a job, and a good one at that. For months my mind was clouded by negative thoughts. Even if I had high hopes there was always that nagging little voice reminding me what the worst that could happen was. And I kept letting her win. I tried my best to fight it off and change my way of thinking, but certain events kept throwing me back down and each time it got more difficult to pick myself back up. We do not have control over what happens in our life, but there is some truth behind the power of positive thinking. If anything, it determines how you handle the bad shit that happens to you, and that can make a world of difference.

I'm not sure what happened that made me change my perspective on everything and truly believe that good things would happen, but I'm glad I did. I still get that nagging voice in my head (more often than I'd like) but it's a battle that I'm going to keep fighting.