On making mistakes (constantly)

Lately I've found myself moving backwards. This is kind of how my life has always been. I make a mistake or I learn something (the hard way) but because of it I vow to make some sort of change, whether it's in my way of thinking or just life in general. I do this repeatedly. I always think that this is it, this is the last time, I will not repeat the same mistake. But you know what? 90% of the time I end up right where I started. For every step forward, I take two steps back. Or maybe it's really for every two steps forward, I take one step back? I rather think of it that way, because I know along the way of my many, many mistakes, I'm still learning, progressing and generally trying to make myself a better person.

This past month or so, the whole "unemployed & desperately looking for my dream job" thing has taken a toll on me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't struggling. Having a job, even if it was just a "nanny" job, kept my life in perspective and kept me more or less sane. I had a responsibility, one that I took very, very seriously, and somehow that also kept my head on my shoulders. I don't think I really realized the full extent of that until it was gone. I found myself kind of back to where I was immediately post-graduation, during one of the more difficult periods of my life, and although I do feel I have changed tremendously and matured, I had the sense that I had taken a giant leap backwards in life.

That's when I started repeating past mistakes. When I started to find myself on the edge of a cliff and extremely scared of what would happen if I let myself fall off. I want to have control of my life, I want to follow my dreams and pursue my passions, but fear has gotten in the way so many times. I felt that because I didn't have my "shit together" so to speak, I was a failure. Thus, it's okay for a failure to repeat past mistakes and pretend as if she's never learned her lesson, the hard way, multiple times.

The mistakes I made? I'm not going to go into detail about them. Those who are close to me probably already know and they know that it's been a struggle for me for awhile. Maybe if they've also paid close attention to my life, they are mistakes I make when things are rough. I like to share my personal life on here because I hope that I'm able to connect with other people and reach out to those who are struggling as well. While I would love to pour my heart out about all of this, there's only so much I can say, and even saying all of this is very personal to me. But there is a point in this story. A big one.

It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to keep making the same mistakes. It's okay to feel awful about it and it's even okay to not really care. You may have friends or family who will try to talk sense into you or you may even find yourself trying to talk sense into you, only to head back down that nasty road once again. Whether it's mistakes you're making with your relationships, with your family, with your friends, with your health, with your personal life, etc., it won't matter what other people say or do to try and make you change until you finally realize that you need to change.

One classic example I can think of that perfectly exemplifies this situation is when you have a friend who keeps making the same mistakes in his/her love life, no matter how many times you tell them to stop. I have had a couple friends who kept making the same mistakes, or more so hung on to the same mistake, for a very long time. You can give people all the advice in the world, but they won't change until they themselves realize everything. They'll probably even come to this realization more than once and just when you think "FINALLY!" they are back at it again. Don't give up on them, though. Don't give up on yourself. You keep making that same mistake? Someday you finally won't.

It's different for everyone, but we all have that "aha" moment or that real reason for wanting to make a change, but when you do that's freakin' awesome. You have reached your tipping point. You'll finally realize: it's time to change. It's time to stop repeating those mistakes.

I reached my tipping point recently. I don't know what makes this time different than any of the others (although I'm kind of starting to get a sense of it), all I know is I want to put an end to these mistakes that leave me feeling so crappy. We all make mistakes, all kinds of mistakes. Sometimes we make certain mistakes more than once. Sometimes we learn from them, sometimes we don't. What's important is that you realize you can change. It may take a lot of guts and a lot of courage and strength on your part, but it's possible, I promise.

Next time you find yourself making a mistake (even if it's something silly like making a typo on an important email) don't beat yourself up about it. It's okay to feel bad and it's okay to kind of freak out, but at most give it a day. Then after that period of "mourning", get back on your feet and try again.

True Life: I'm 23 years old and already crippled by debt.

Of course this post is coming to you from someone who is currently unemployed and has all the time in the world to rage about this issue that is affecting who knows how many students across the country right now. But the issue isn't just about unemployment. It's the fact that I can't seem to do anything that twenty-something's should be doing. I can't move out of my parent's home and start being independent. I can't move to another city because of this. I can't experience the new-ness that comes with being on your own, whether it's close to home or somewhere new. I can't even travel because I don't want to spend a single penny on something that so many have the privilege to do but take for granted all the time. I haven't taken a vacation of my own, ever. I have considered traveling or visiting friends in other states or countries for months now, but I haven't been able to because I don't want to wipe out my very small savings account and max out the credit cards I have already had to open even though I swore I would never succumb to that.

I'm only 23 years old, at the "prime" of my life as many people seem to say, and there are so many things I want to be able to do, I SHOULD be able to do, but can't do because I am already crippled by the debt that student loans has brought me. I am crippled by the very society that raised me to believe a college education would get you everything your parent's didn't have but always wanted for you, only to be facing some very serious issues that years ago twenty-somethings did not have to worry about for years to come (if ever).

Is it my fault? Should I have chosen a different major? Should I have pursued a different career path? Something I didn't love but was more practicable? Something that would have made me the big bucks? Should I have put more effort in school? Should I have worked a job while attending school full time (with crazy hours) just so I would have something to show for when I finally graduated? Should I have taken on tons of internships? Is a college education even enough anymore? No, it kind of isn't.

I'm finding that I can't even get a job that doesn't require a college degree (but that many places now deem a "requirement" as if filing paperwork and taking phone calls requires four years of upper education...) I can't get those simple entry-level jobs, even if they don't require experience, because there are other people out there who do have experience who are applying for the same jobs and willing to take those jobs at entry-level salaries (which even then are very underpaid) because they have no other option. The job market is literally hell right now and I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a battlefield with no weapon, just a sweet smile and apparently a pitiful resume.

Everyone I talk to about this has a story to tell. They're either in the same boat or a very similar situation. You know what's the scariest part about all of this? What is our generation going to do when it comes time for us to start buying our own homes? Will we even be able to? At what age are you expected to finish paying off your loans? Is the interest going to eat you alive? 

I'm really not trying to be a debbie downer and I certainly know there are worse problems/issues out there. But the fact is, this is an issue that is VERY real and that MANY people face and many more will continue to face. Nothing is changing. To be honest, I don't even know where we would begin to make changes that can help. Sure, maybe student loan forgiveness is one step in the right direction. But is that really even a feasible option? What will even fix this deplorable job market? It's been this way for a long time and now us post-grads are paying for it (literally and figuratively). 

Who knows what the future holds. If I can give anyone going through similar struggles right now some advice, it'd be this:

Hang in there. You're not alone. Become an active citizen and fight for your rights. Go out and vote. Educate yourself on what you can do. Don't give up hope. Make a plan. Make a list. Don't worry. Or just try not to worry as much. We may have been utterly screwed by past decisions but the future is in our hands and we (hopefully) have the power to change it.

Inspiration Monday: Keep on keepin' on

I woke up this morning (okay, more like afternoon because I stayed up all night catching up on the Vampire Diaries...perks of unemployment?) and for a SPLIT second I pitied myself. Then, I snapped the f* out of it and told myself I had plenty of things to do and to get to it. Just because I don't have a "job" doesn't mean I'm rendered useless and incapable of actually being productive today. It's so easy to find yourself void of motivation during times like these, but I can't stress enough how important it is for you (and your sanity) to keep yourself going. Keep believing, keep hoping, just keep doing something. Don't let yourself fall trap to the blues and negativity. Yes, it is extremely difficult under certain circumstances and it gets harder as time goes on and all seems to be a lost cause, but no matter—keep on keepin' on.

Before I start doing any of the millions of things on my to-do list today, I scrolled through my Pinterest inspiration board (comes in handy quite a lot) and I wanted to share some of my favorites with you, in hopes that it inspires you as well.

In Between Jobs: a.k.a. back to square one

So here I am, {somewhat} back to where I was at last fall. JOB-LESS! Ugh. I've been working as a part-time nanny for the past 7 months or so for this great family, but decided I needed to search for something full-time and also more relative to what I want career-wise (which to be honest, still no clear cut decision there.) I gave a month's notice and was hoping within that time of applying and interviewing (ahem, just one interview) I'd find a job so I wouldn't be  "in between jobs."

Alas, here I am. Back on that road we call life: still no map, still no direction, still scared out of my f?!ing mind. But that's what being a post-grad twenty-something is all about nowadays, right?

Compared to how I was a year ago, however, I am much more cool and collected about this dilemma I'm in. No, I don't have everything figured out. Yes, I have bills and loans to pay. Yes, I worry about my future. And no, I don't want to settle for a job that I know I will hate. Which makes this whole process that much more complicated. So many post-grads settle for jobs they know are mediocre. I don't want to have to be that person. I'm lucky I have parents who help support me, but I certainly want to be independent—and the sooner the better! 

It all just kind of sucks though, doesn't it? We not only have to compete with an atrociously awful job market but we also usually end up settling for whatever comes our way because what else can we do? It's even harder for people like me. I have a creative soul. I ooze creativity. I hate the regular 9 to 5 routine (but I know I wouldn't if I were doing something I love.) I have so many ideas and thoughts circling through my mind that I can't even sleep at night because my mind never shuts off. I wish I could use all of these skills and talents I have and actually make a career/income out of it, but in today's world "creative" fields are extremely difficult to get into. And even then, sometimes you have to settle for something that is only vaguely related to what you want to be doing in order to just gain some experience. Because how can we forget—they won't hire you if you don't have experience, but you can't get experience if no one hires you! Oh.

As you can tell, I'm a little fed up with this whole job searching conundrum. I'm kind of just fed up with everything a post-grad has to go through. I don't want to be bitching and whining about it all, but it gets terribly exhausting and discouraging. Our generation is so different from past generations (or maybe not so much that we're different, but older generations have forgotten what it's like to be our age... also we live in sucky times.) Post-grad twenty-somethings get such a bad rep and it really pisses me off. How dare we want something different than what everyone else is doing? How dare we want to change the world we live in? How dare we not have a job yet and still be mooching off our parents? There are so many jobs out there! Sure! I'll be a secretary/somebody's bitch! Sure! I'll work at a job that pays $10 an hour even though I went to school for four years in order to NOT have to settle for that! SURE!!!

Okay, rant aside and all, I don't want to sound discouraging. I know there are lot of people out there feeling just as I am or in similar situations. I'm annoyed, yes, but I haven't lost hope. It's super, super important to stay optimistic. Not only are you doing yourself (and your sanity) a favor, but the universe tends to throw good things your way if you keep a positive vibe. It's tough out there, but know you're not the only one dealing with all this BS. Life has a way of working itself out, so just hang in there. In the meantime, please feel free to join me in my rant and let out all that steam!

Why I Don't Online Date (anymore)

OkCupid. Tinder. Plenty of Fish. Blah, blah, blah. I've tried them all. On multiple occasions and at different times in my life. I always heard "good" things about them, so I was always willing to try, hoping I would be one of the lucky ones who actually managed to meet someone special. To be honest, it's also getting extremely difficult to meet new people once you've graduated college (one of my professors once said that if you hadn't found who you were gonna marry by the time you graduated college your chances of finding someone dropped dramatically... jeez.) Thus, many of us resort to online dating. It only makes sense in this world of technology and social media. For many people, online dating is a success for them. It's perfect for what they want, right now in their life. But it is not for everyone. As for me? I'm done with online dating. And I will explain to you why.

First, I'd like to credit my inspiration for writing this post. Someone on Facebook shared this article from Elite Daily on the hook-up culture that seems to have infiltrated twenty-somethings everywhere.  Reading through it, while I agreed with most things (but not all), I was somewhat comforted in knowing that at least I'm not alone in the struggle. Dating is hard enough as it is, but in today's world? It's getting ridiculous. Real communication is dwindling out fast. Surely the rise of technology and social media are somewhat to blame, but can we really put the entire blame on that fact alone? At some point, our culture changed. At some point, people stopped trying. People stopped putting in real effort. People decided they were better off not committing, because something better could always be just around the corner. Our generation is a weird one. We're jaded. We want it all and we want nothing all at the same time.

The first time I gave online dating a try was with OkCupid, and let me tell you, there are some freaky ass people out there. I got the weirdest messages. When I would try to talk to someone, conversations always fell short. People's profile summaries and descriptions were over the top. They were trying too hard. I may be an asshole, but I rolled my eyes at pretty much every single one. Second time around I went in with a more positive, can-do attitude. Met someone. Was going great. Until it was clear I had been played. What got to me the most was that they couldn't even be up front about it. No honesty, no communication. I'm sorry, I thought we were all adults here? Guess not.

On my third try (third time's the charm, right?) I was literally at the point where it was just whatever, let's keep using this app because I'm bored kind of thing, but I ended up meeting someone amazing. I truly felt like I was dating a friend. We dated for a couple months, and I wish I could tell you I was another one of those rare successful online dating stories - but alas, I am not. Long story short, miscommunications occurred, or minds changed, or whatever, and it was decided they were looking for something more casual and I was left with my mouth agape, wondering what on Earth it takes to actually make a lasting and meaningful connection with someone. Maybe if that is what you're looking for, like I am, online dating is not for you. 90% of people who join these online dating sites are a product of "the hook-up culture" that is spreading its way through our 20-something society. I'm also not blaming this new dating culture on why I haven't had success, or why these certain relationships didn't work out for me. I'm not trying to say I'm perfect and it's everybody else's fault, because I know I am far from that. I've just come to realize that what I'm looking for specifically in who I date, I'm most likely never going to find through one of these sites. It takes a lot of energy and a lot of trust and commitment on your own part to give someone a chance (at least for me, someone whose had her fair share of let downs) so going through the process of online dating is extremely exhausting.

I'm not trying to discourage you, or make you second guess yourself, especially if you've recently met someone through online dating and things are going well. I actually have a friend who met someone on OkCupid and right after their first date, went off to travel together and now they are in a happy relationship and living together. So who knows, you may be one of the lucky ones. It's good to be aware of what you're getting yourself into. Don't expect a fairy tale ending and always, always put yourself first.

I think part of the issue with us twenty-somethings and dating is that people have forgotten how to properly communicate. Or they're too scared to. No one wants confrontations. No one wants fights or heart breaks or whatever comes with being honest with someone. So maybe that's why a lot of us resort to just letting things "play out" or just slowly ignoring someone until they get the hint. Maybe that's why a lot of us will text and not call someone. It's easier to hide emotions through texts. It's easier to be ambiguous through texts, or emails. It's easier to hide behind technology. Of course no one wants to be the bearer of bad news, but trust me, sometimes you're doing the person a favor by just being flat out honest with them from the start. And if you find yourself in a situation in which the other person is playing games or not communicating sufficiently enough, don't be afraid to speak up. Have the courage to stand up for yourself. You deserve to be treated with respect.

So there you have it. That is why I do not online date anymore. You may wonder, where can someone like me find people to date then? The answer: I'm still trying to figure that out.

Whatever happened to adventures?

Attention: It is the last Monday in July. That means there's about a month left of summer. A month left to have an awesome summer adventure. One month left to make this summer one to tell your grandchildren about (unless you've already accomplished that, then kudos to you!)

I, unfortunately, have not accomplished that yet. Sure, my summer has been interesting in many ways, but I haven't gone on any of these adventures I crave. Today I realized I have a month left. Which honestly, is plenty of time. Anything can happen within one month.

I have such a wanderlust itch that I can't get rid of and sometimes I wish I could just toss all my responsibilities out the window and just get in my car and drive, drive, drive until I don't even know where I am anymore. But, I can't. I have responsibilities. My friends have responsibilities. Long gone are the days of spontaneous adventures. But why does it have to be that way?!

Why is it that as we grow older we lose that sense of adventure? The spontaneity of life. The "f* it let's do it" attitude. I look around and all my friends seem to be growing up and I'm still back here flailing my arms around, not wanting to let go of my inner child. I feel like Rose at the end of Titanic when she's on that door and Jack's already dead (you could have fit both of you on that door, bitch) and the boat comes to look for survivors and she's weakly saying "come back, come back" but they can't hear her. That's actually really depressing imagery but I think you get the point.

Being a twenty-something is a weird time. I'm sure it only gets weirder from here on out. I know it's time for me to let go of certain things and move on to the next big adventure in my life. I look around the other twenty-somethings I know, and they're either already doing that, or stuck and feeling bored, but already settling with what they've got. Dude. Don't settle. Never settle. Always go after your passions, what you truly want. Now is the time to do it after all. Have that one last big adventure. One last hurrah.

And thus, I should be taking my own advice. Until now I've felt like I'm waiting for something. I never realized I was actually just waiting for myself. Waiting to let go of fears, or just embrace them, and get out there. Have an adventure. One that might completely and totally fail and blow up in my face, but hey, at least I can say I gave it a shot, right?

When I look back on my life and contemplate what to tell my grandchildren, I'm going to tell them that this summer was the one before everything changed. This was the summer I let my "childhood" go and prepared myself to set out onto the next adventure in my life.

In the meantime, I have one month left to make some long-lasting memories.

Has our generation gone too far with the drinking lifestyle?

I’ve been experiencing some serious writer’s block. It’s not that I don’t have any ideas, because I have enough ideas to fill up my entire spring and summer post schedule. The problem is I’m having trouble just sitting down and actually writing it all. My ideas bounce around in my head like jumping jelly beans and then it’s hard to put everything into words. I also get stressed out knowing that I should be writing but I’m not. I almost feel like I’m back in school, dreading that paper I have to write but continuously procrastinating until the very last second. Except now, there’s technically no due date. I’m all about being organized and setting goals for myself, with tight run schedules and all. Then, it all just flops. I’m trying to work on this, but sometimes you find yourself in a funk that is just tremendously difficult to get out of.

One thing I do want to share with you all is my experience at the Taking Back Sunday concert I went to on Wednesday night. There were three other bands playing before them, so it was a really long wait (after an already exhausting day at work.) Taking Back Sunday has been my favorite band since I was about 12/13 years old and it is literally written on my bucket list “go to a Taking Back Sunday concert.” Ten years a fan and I had never been to one.

Now, I do not consider myself a “concert-goer” in the least bit. I’m not a fan of large crowds, so I stay away from things like that. I also don’t like spending a bunch of money on nosebleed seats. Just don’t see the point. But, this time was different. I was super pumped.

To say it in the politest way possible, it sucked. Not because of the music or the bands. It was the people, the crowd. I was expecting a crowd of older people or people somewhat my age, those who grew up listening to these bands and just felt like being nostalgic, etc. Instead, the crowd was a mix of overly obnoxious and rude drunk teenagers. Or maybe they were older than that, but I really couldn’t tell by the way they were acting. Everywhere I turned I saw girl drama and fights. People were doing drugs left and right. Everyone was wasted. I did not get to enjoy myself and it was truly disappointing. 

I don’t blame people for wanting to have fun and letting loose for a night, but after my night it really made me think: 

Must we rely on alcohol or drugs to have a good time, all the time?

I think drinking every once in a while is perfectly fine, especially if you know your limits and can contain yourself. However, I see it all around me, all the time. People don’t know how to have fun unless it involves intoxicating yourself in some way. They rather go to bars every weekend than try out new activities or just plan a nice night in with your friends.

College pretty much has a drinking culture of its own, and that’s really never going to change. I’ll admit that I, too, indulged in this type of lifestyle. At what point does it get old, though? For me, this idea of drinking all the time or overindulging in this lifestyle started getting old by the time I became a senior in college. Now whenever I see people my age still acting in such ways or having this mentality, it’s just disappointing. 

I wish it was easier for people to have a good time without having to drink or go out and rage. I understand that it’s fun to let loose, go wild and just have a good time with friends. But, you have to remember a few things:

1. Know your limits. At a certain age, you should know how much you should be consuming. You should know not to get so drunk that you become a problem for others or even for your own self. 

2. There are other things to do besides drinking. Like, an infinity amount of things to do. Finding new activities or hobbies with your friends could open so many doors. Or even simple things, such as going to the movies or cooking a new dish at home with friends, or ordering chinese food and watching Netflix all night. 

3. If the reason you’re going out to bars every weekend is to meet your dream sweetie, think again. Is this really the type of environment you want to meet someone special like that? Sure, a lot of people find their boyfriends/girlfriends at bars, but more likely than not you’re not going to find what you’re looking for. 

4. Alcohol is not good for your body. MAYBE the occasional glass of red wine, as studies have proven, or whatever. But to be binge-drinking all the time causes some serious issues. We all know hangovers suck. You feel that way for a reason. You just threw your body into a spinning hell ride of torture. Also, as we get older, our bodies can’t handle as much alcohol as we used to, so sometimes taking it down a notch is actually literally necessary in order for you to survive the next day.

5. If you rely on alcohol to be less shy, forget about your problems, etc. there are underlying issues that need to be resolved. Alcohol is not the solution. In fact, bringing alcohol into the mix of these pre-existing issues will probably only make things worse in the long run. Deal with life in a different way, a healthier way.

So there you have it. End of rant. Some of you may agree with me, some of you may not, but this is just the way I see things and how I feel. Sometimes it seems that our generation is so involved in the drinking culture and I think it can result in so many problems for our futures and our well-being in general. 

Living at Home Again Post-College

A study done about two years ago revealed that 36% of all millennials (age 18-31) were still living at home. From the 18-24 age group, 56% were still living at home. The highest it's been in four decades. It is becoming increasingly popular to move back in with your folks after you graduate, or even after a couple years of living on your own and realizing you're up to your ass in debt. Society has mixed views on the matter, but it's becoming more acceptable and even expected at times.

Moving out doesn't necessarily have to be the marker of you entering adulthood. Sure, you become an adult once you start becoming independent (which can be done in various ways), but being an adult should also mean being responsible, goal-oriented and mature enough to handle just about any situation that comes your way.

What I'm getting at is that just because you don't live on your own yet, doesn't mean you don't have these qualities. This is a complicated and controversial topic in today's world, with many people claiming those of us who live at home are just "lazy" or too dependent on our mommies and daddies. I think everyone (no matter what side you're on) needs to open their eyes and stop being so judgmental, because each person's situation differs from the next.


There are hundreds of reasons why moving back home after you graduate is not only OKAY but also very smart. If you are lucky enough to have parents who allow you to move back in with them, be very grateful. Some of my favorite reasons for living at home are:

1. You get to save money. What percent of your paycheck goes towards rent and utilities? Rent and such greatly varies depending on your location, but let's say the average is about $500 to $1000 a month. Instead of wasting that money on rent (even if you have the means to do so) by living at home you can put that money aside each month and start saving up. Within 3 years (assuming by the time you turn 25 and most of us decide it's time to finally move out, ha) you can have saved anywhere from $18,000 to $36,000. That can be a down payment for a car or even a house. Or you can just have money saved up, which is always, always a good thing.

2. You can start paying off your loans. While some of us are lucky enough to have had school paid for us, many of us post-grads are probably eternally suffering the ridiculous amount of money we now owe due to school loans. By living at home, you can start paying off your loans right away instead of using that money towards rent and other expenses that come with living on your own. Figure out a plan for how you're going to pay back the loans—right away! Pretend you really are paying rent per month, set a (realistic) price, and pay that amount every month towards your loans. No exceptions.

3. Free food/meals. Sometimes. Honestly, nothing beats coming home from a long, exhausting day at work to a home-cooked meal, all ready to be devoured and cherished. For the most part, I usually cook my own meals and buy my own groceries, but it's nice to always have back up food. At least you know that when money's tight or you don't even have time to breathe let alone cook, you don't have to rely on ramen noodles. I think it's safe to say we are all sick of ramen noodles by this point.


While yes, you are living back home again, you have to keep in mind that you are no longer a kid. Just because you moved back doesn't mean things are going to be the same (aka you do not have free room service.) You are an adult now, so act like it. There are plenty of ways to not only establish your independence but also help your parents out, such as:

• Do your own laundry


• Clean your own room


• Help out with chores (vacuuming, taking out the trash, washing dishes, etc.)


• Buy your own groceries


• Cook your own meals (at least a few times per week)

You may have already been used to doing this while living away at college, or even when you were still in high school, but it's easy to get back into the habit of having someone else do all of these things for you. Don't fall into that trap. It will only turn you into the lazy twenty-something stereotype we are so desperately trying to avoid, remember?

If anything, living at home will help you get into the habit of doing all of these things, because you will probably have someone nagging you to do them (they mean well, I promise.)


Unfortunately, there is one issue that seems practically inevitable for the majority of us. Clashing with your parents (or siblings.) You're back home but you also want your own privacy and sense of independence. Sometimes that doesn't happen. Of course, it depends on your particular situation and the type of relationship you have with your family, but here is some of my own advice after months of dealing with such issues:

1. Be prepared to have mature conversations with your parents. You are no longer a teenager, so stop with the dramatics—the yelling, the door slamming, the eye rolling, etc. You should be able to sit down with them and have a calm, civilized conversation, explaining the way you feel and the reasons why. It might take a bit of practice (and you guys may never get the full hang of it, cause let's face it—family is family.) However, it's doable. Be as patient as you possibly can.

2. Dealing with curfews, overprotection, etc. Although I feel like an adult (most of the time…), I think my parents (especially my dad) will always view me as their little girl. That's why moving back home caused a couple of issues at first. I never really had a curfew, but you may be dealing with one. Try to reason with your parents and show them that you are responsible enough to handle yourself. The key here is to prove to them that they can trust you. Once again, it takes time, but it's doable. They may pull that "you're living under my roof, so you follow my rules" card, and that can drive just about anyone nuts—but don't pack your bags up just yet. Most of the time when parents act like this it's because they care about you and your safety, so try to understand where they're coming from. Let them know where you're going (even if it's a pain in the butt to do) and the general time that you will be home.

3. Do your part. As I mentioned before, even though you're living at home again, it doesn't mean it should be a free ride for you. You should still offer to do chores, run errands, cook meals, etc. Getting yourself into the habit of doing these things often will help avoid the most common clashes that occur. Consider yourself a roommate, rather than just their kid living back at home. Be a respectful and clean roommate.


So there you have it. It might not be your first choice, but having to move back home is not as bad as people make it out to be. It is really up to you what kind of attitude you assume and how you approach the situation. Try to keep in mind that this may also be the last time to really spend time with your parents (cue cheesy Full House music) before you head off on your own and maybe start your own family. Take this time to form a better relationship with them and appreciate the moments you have left together. You won't be "stuck home" forever. Make a plan, set goals for yourself, and take each day as it comes.

P.S. Thanks Mom & Dad

"Nobody likes you when you're 23"

My birthday is in about 40 minutes. By the time this is posted, I will be 23 years old. Even though I'm only turning 23, for some reason that makes me feel really old. I guess it only goes downhill from there?

The thing about your 23rd birthday, for most of us post-grads, it might come as a radical shock. Everything is different now. For one, most of your friends would still be up late enough to wish you a happy birthday as soon as the clock struck 12. Your phone would start buzzing with texts to start off your special day. That was one of my favorite parts. It was always a mini-competition to me, to see which of my friends texted me first. But now, I'm not expecting that… at all. The majority of my friends are probably in bed by now, fast asleep. I really should be as well, because not only am I exhausted from today's longer work day but I'm also smack in the middle of catching a cold so I feel extra worn down. And yet, I must stay awake until midnight. It is tradition, and I plan to keep it a tradition for as long as I possibly can.

The other thing about turning 23 and not being in college anymore: what the hell do you do to celebrate your birthday? Normally you'd have a birthday weekend that involved lots of pre-gaming and bar hopping and over-all shenanigans. Now what? Everyone is scattered across the state, or country, or globe. Half your friends can't make it even if you do try to plan a fun party. People start getting busy, there's less time to dedicate. And while it's completely understandable, it's also a little bit sad. You start to realize that this is it; we have entered "the real world" and things will continue to change.

Turning 23, at least for me, is a milestone that is truly making me realize that I'm growing up. And that's a little bit scary. It's exciting, sure, but there's also a lot of uncertainty. Although there's a tiny bit of melancholy surrounding this year's birthday, there's also so much to look forward to. And for that, I am grateful.

For once, I'm actually starting to feel my true age. I have witnessed myself mature tremendously these past six months and I feel like a stronger and more ambitious individual every day. I also feel more confident in my abilities, and more certain of what it is that I want to do with my life. I think 23 is going to be a life-changing year.

The one piece of advice I can give to you twenty-somethings tonight is that, no matter how much you "grow up," don't let go of your inner child. Life is too short to be so serious and so "mature." We might be getting older, but that doesn't mean we have to shrivel up like an old prune and have no fun. You have to laugh. Every day. You have to do exciting things. You have to act like a child every once in awhile. It will keep you young, it will help keep you sane, and it will help you hold on to your happiness.

A Personal Note: Feeling Stuck

This post is certainly a very personal one, and I almost decided to keep it to myself, but I feel I need to share. My mind has been racing for days. I feel like I fell into quick sand and I'm sinking slowly, unable to claw my way out. I feel so unhappy with where I'm at in my life right now and with no way of getting myself out. I know I have talked about being positive and remaining focused on your passions, but some days even I can't keep myself in that mindset. This past week has really hurled me into a whirlwind of emotions, but for the most part I feel numb. I feel like I'm running out of options and I'm being forced into becoming something that every inch of my body is so desperately fighting against. I don't want to become a corporate drone who lives their 9 to 5 life and comes home exhausted and brain dead. I don't want to do something that I don't have any interest or passion for just because I need the money. After months of searching, I've found myself at a dead end. I'm feeling more and more discouraged every day. I hate having a negative perspective on things and I'm always trying to change my way of thinking because I know "positivity is key." But it's so much easier said than done. I almost feel like a hypocrite now because just a few days ago I was trying to send this message out to everyone, and now here I am fighting to get the tiniest sliver of hope. I have always, always been scared of settling. Whether it was in regards to a job, relationship, anything. I never want to have to settle. I want to know that the choices I'm making are based on what I love, and not out of fear. And I guess now that's what I'm doing. Settling for something because of fear. It's so easy for us millennials to settle for something because of what is expected of us.  At what point will that change? How many people are truly happy with their life and what they are doing? Why is that such a rare thing nowadays? And why does it have to take so much courage to just go out there and do what you love, despite the consequences and risks. I have no idea what my future holds. And I have no idea how to handle everything I'm going through right now. It brings me some ease of mind, however, to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I just wish more people were open about it. Maybe we all wouldn't be so scared to take such risks if we knew that more people felt this way, like there was more to life than just getting by.